Peter Berman - Arguments

  • Season 10 , Ep 20
  • 04/27/2006
  • Views: 7,141

Men are not thinking when women are thinking. (3:30)

EVERYTHING'S DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED, ISN'T IT, MAN?

ARGUING'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED,

THEN WHEN YOU'RE DATING.I DON'T CARE HOW LONG

YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER,BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED,

ONCE YOU GET MARRIED, THE WHOLE ARGUING DYNAMIC

COMPLETELY CHANGES, DOESN'T IT?'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE JUST DATING,

YOU KNOW ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THE ARGUING SITUATION, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW YOU CAN LEAVEWITH YOUR STUFF, RIGHT?

BUT WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED THERE'S THIS LITTLE THING

CALLED "COMMITMENT." THAT MEANS YOU ARE WORKIN' THIS OUT...

IN A MINUTE OR A MONTH OR WHEN YOU SURRENDER.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT YOU'RE WORKIN' IT OUT,YOU KNOW?

WHEN I USED TO BE DATIN', I'D HAVE THAT LITTLE VOICE.

YOU EVER HAVE THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD HELPING YOU OUT WHEN YOU'RE ARGUIN'?

I'D BE ARGUIN'WITH WOMEN I WAS DATIN'.

I'M GETTIN' IN A GOOD ARGUMENT AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,

I'D HEAR A, I'D HEAR UM, UM-- [Little Voice] "[BLEEP] HER!

"YOU DON'T NEED THIS [BLEEP], MAN! YOU SHOULD LEAVE!"

[Regular Voice] "SHOULD I?" [Little Voice] "I WOULD!"

YEAH. THEN I GET MARRIED AND GET THIS

THE VOICE HAS TURNED ON ME! AND IT'S MY VOICE.

I'M GETTING INTO A GOOD ARGUMENT WITH MY WIFE ONE DAY,

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I HEAR, "A-A-AHEM! SAY YOU'RE SORRY."

- [LAUGHTER] - "SHUT UP!

NO, NO, NOT YOU, HONEY. THE VOICE."

HERE'S THE PROBLEM AS I SEE IT, BEING A GUY,

IS MOS OF THE TIMEWE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHATTHE HELL WE DID WRONG,

- DO WE? - [SILENCE]

THANKS FOR THE BACKUP, FELLAS.I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.

THE RALLY'S AT NOON TOMORROW, GUYS.

WOW, YOU CAN TELL IT'S DATE NIGHT, MAN.

YOU GUYS DID NOTBACK ME UP ONE BIT, MAN.

I DIDN'T EVEN GET THECODE LOOK FROM YOU GUYS.

- LIKE... - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH. YEAH. I APPRECIATED THE BACKUP, MAN. YEAH.

THE PROBLEM AS I SEE ITIS MOST OF THE TIME

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL WE DID WRONG, RIGHT?

- Men: YEAH! - RIGHT. EXACTLY.

LOOK IT, WOMEN ARE LOOKING AT ME LIKE

THAT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE TRUE. TRUST ME, IT'S TRUE.

NO GUY I KNOW WANTS TO FIGHTWITH HIS GIRLFRIEND OR HIS WIFE.

WHEN WE'RE ARGUING WITH YOU WOMEN AND YOU WOMEN ARE LIKE,

"HEY, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'TKNOW WHAT THE [BLEEP] GOING ON!"

IT IS BECAUSE WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS GOING ON.

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - YEAH. YEAH.

AND HERE'S WHY WE DON'T KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU WOMEN ARE THINKERS.

YEAH. YOU WOMEN ARE THINKERS. THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL QUALITY.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOIN' ALL DAY, AREN'T YOU?

YOU'RE THINKIN'. YOU LITTLE SHOW-OFFS,

JUST THINKIN', AREN'T YOU? JUST THINKIN', THINKIN',

THINKIN', THINK, THINK, THINK THINKTHINKTHINKTHINK...

AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE THINKIN', THEN WHAT DO YOU DO?

THEN YOU DOUBLE-CHECK YOUR WORK WITH YOUR MOTHER

OR YOUR SISTER OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

"HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKIN'?"

"OOOH, YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT?"

THINK, THINK, THINKTHINKTHINKTHINKTHINK.

- IT'S LIKE A THINK TANK. - [LAUGHTER]

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOIN'

WHILE YOU'RE DOIN' ALL THAT THINKIN'?

WE ARE NOT THINKING. AND WE LIKE IT LIKE THAT, DON'T WE?

- Men: YEAH! - HELL, YEAH. HELL, YEAH.

MY FAVORITE PART ABOUT BEIN' A GUY

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