Ray Lipowski - Not Masculine

Season 1 , Ep 4 07/25/10 Views: 9,288

If you are a dude on Facebook and you poke Ray Lipowski, he will punch you in your face. (1:32)

[audience yeahs]

YOU GUYS GOOD?[audience yeahs]

I WANNA GET SOME STUFFOFF MY CHEST, IF I MAY.

IF YOU'RE A DUDE ONFACEBOOK AND YOU POKE ME...

[laughter]

I'M GONNA PUNCH YOUIN YOUR FACE.

IF YOU HIT ME WITH A PILLOW,I'M GONNA HIT YOU WITH A BRICK.

A REAL ONE.

NOTHING MASCULINEABOUT THAT.

AND IF YOU'RE A DUDE ON FACEBOOKAND YOU FRIEND REQUEST ME...

HAVE A SHIRT ON.

[chuckles]

I JUST HATE WHEN DUDESDO STUFF THAT'S NOT--

YOU KNOW,THAT'S NOT MASCULINE.

LIKE--AND LADIES,THERE'S, LIKE, LITTLE TIDBITS,

LITTLE, LIKE, THINGS--CLUES FOR YOU

TO, LIKE,QUESTION YOUR DUDE.

LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,LIKE, ANY DUDES IN HERE,

IF I HAPPEN TO TEXT YOU--'CAUSE WE OBVIOUSLY HAVE,

YOU KNOW,ONE ANOTHER'S PHONE NUMBER--

AND I'M LIKE, "DUDE, I'M GONNAPICK YOU UP IN TEN MINUTES

SO WE CAN GET TO THE EL REYTO SEE THIS COMEDY SHOW."

AND YOUTEXT ME BACK "K"...

I'M GONNASMACK YOU IN THE FACE

AS SOON AS I PICK YOU UP.

YOU DON'T TEXT A MAN "K."

LOOK AT THE DUDESTHAT AIN'T LAUGHING.

YOU AIN'T LAUGHING 'CAUSEIF I GO IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW

AND PULL YOUR CELL PHONE OUT,

YOU GOT A BUNCHOF "Ks" RUNNIN' DOWN IT.

AND THOSE ARE THE ONESYOU SENT, YOU BITCH.

YOU DON'T TEXT NO MAN "K."

YOU'RE MISSING A LETTER.YOU'RE MISSING A VOWEL.

HOW MUCH TIME DID YOU POSSIBLYSAVE BY NOT PRESSING THE "O"?

Loading...