John Oliver - Teddy Bear Man

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 01/22/2010
  • Views: 11,969

John Oliver was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of a heroic act of friendship. (2:23)

TO BE ONTHE RECEIVING END

OF ONE OF THE MOST HEROICACTS OF FRIENDSHIP

I'VE EVER HEARD OF.

WHEN I FIRST CAME HERETO AMERICA,

I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE HERE.

AND MY BEST FRIEND, DAN,COULD SEE THAT I WAS UPSET,

BEFORE I LEFT ENGLAND,AND HE SAID,

"I BOUGHT YOUTHIS TEDDY BEAR.

"DON'T SQUEEZE HIS TUMMY

UNTIL YOU GET TO YOURNEW APARTMENT IN NEW YORK."

SO I FLEW TO THIS STRANGECITY IN A STRANGE LAND,

AND IT WAS VERY HOT THATSUMMER.

AS A BRITISH PERSON,I'M JUST NOT EQUIPPED

TO DEAL WITH THOSEKIND OF TEMPERATURES,

EITHER PHYSICALLYOR EMOTIONALLY.

(laughter)

AND I UNPACKED MY THINGS,AND I FELT VERY ROOTLESS

AND LOST AND ALONE,

AND THERE AT THE BOTTOMOF THE CASE

WAS THE TEDDY BEAR.

AND I PICKED HIM UP...

AND I GAZEDINTO HIS BUTTON EYES,

AND I SQUEEZED HIM, I DID,I'M NOT ASHAMED TO SAY THAT,

I SQUEEZED HIM IN THE TUMMYAND...

(laughter)

AND THESE ARE THE EXACT WORDSTHAT BEAR SAID TO ME,

HE SAID,"YOU WILL DIE ON YOUR OWN,

IN A DARK, COLD ROOM."

(laughter and applause)

AND I HAVE NEVER LOVEDMY FRIEND DAN

LIKE I LOVED HIMIN THAT MOMENT,

MAINLY BECAUSE I KNOWHOW THOSE BEARS ARE MADE.

YOU RECORD THE PERSONALIZEDMESSAGE INTO THE LITTLE BOX

AND THEN YOU TAKE ITOVER TO THE TEDDY BEAR MAN

WHO THEN TESTS IT TO CHECKIT'S WORKING,

BEFORE SEWING ITINTO THE BEAR'S STOMACH.

SO I KNEW THERE HAD TO BETHAT MOMENT

BETWEEN MY FRIEND DANAND THE TEDDY BEAR MAN...

(laughter)

AS HE PRESSED THE BUTTON,LISTENED TO THE MESSAGE,

AND THEN JUST STARED AT HIM...

(laughter)

WITH A INSTINCTIVE DECISIONTO MAKE--

WAS THIS A MAVERICK ACTOF FRIENDSHIP,

OR WAS THIS A SERIAL KILLER?

(laughter)

AND I KNOW WHAT MY FRIENDDAN LOOKS LIKE.

AND HE TOOK A GAMBLETHAT DAY...(laughter)

NOT AN INSIGNIFICANT GAMBLE.

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