Jay Larson - Imaginary Friend

Jay Larson Season 15, Ep 15 03/11/2011 Views: 22,842

Jay Larson explains a situation where you cannot see what your mind cannot comprehend. (2:34)

to have kids.

It's scary.

My friend used to baby-sitthese two kids, five and three.

And, uh, one time she was there,and she went to their bedroom,

and knocked on thedoor, and they said,

"Hey, don't come in herewith our imaginary friend.

"If you come in,he's gonna leave."

She goes back tothe living room.

A little whilelater, goes back.

"Don't come in withour imaginary friend.

"If you come in,he's gonna leave."

She goes overto the neighbor.

Neighbor comes over,kicks the door in.

There are the two kids,five and three,

with a midgetdressed as a clown.

[audience laughing]


I know that--And weird.

Let's letit go.

[audience laughing]

Come back tothe story,

try and find alittle humor in it.

How about that?

[audience laughing]

My buddy goes, "Idon't believe you.

"I don'tbelieve it.

"Why didn't thekids say somethin'?

"Why didn't the kidstell the babysitter?"

I go, "Bro, if you're fiveand three and a midget clown

"hops through your windowand goes, 'Hey, Hey!

"'I'm your imaginary friend!'"

You would go,"yes, you are.

"Yes, you are."

[audience laughing]

What elsewould you be?



And like the clowngot away.

The clowngot away.

And my buddy's like, "How comethe guard didn't catch him?

"Why didn't theguard get him?"

And I go, "Bro, you can't seewhat your mind can't comprehend.

"If you kick that door open,and a midget clown ran by,

"you'd go like this, Whatthe hell's goin' on in here?

[audience laughing]

"What's the story?

"What's the hub-bub, kids?"

[audience laughing]

Is that howa neighbor talks?

Hey, it's the-it'sthe hubs.

I can'thave kids.


And that's because whenyou have children,

at some point, they're gonnacome in your room at night,

and ask you to investigatea noise they hear downstairs.

And I'm notready to do that.

[audience laughing]

Just have my daughtercome in like, "Daddy,

"I heard a noisedownstairs, Daddy."

Yeah, honey, uh, Iheard that noise, too.

[audience laughing]

Yeah, I'm reallyscared, Daddy.

Yeah, honey, uh,I'm scared, too.

[audience laughing]

That's why I was curled upin a ball in the corner

of the room.

[audience laughing]

You think you couldgo downstairs

and see whatit is, Daddy?

I don't thinkso, honey.

[audience laughing]

You see, you'refive years old,

you think there'sa goblin down there.

I'm 34, and I'm pretty sureit's a guy with an ax.

[audience laughing]

Maybe you shouldgo downstairs.

Mommy and I can makeanother one of you.