Nick Turner - Year's Supply of Doughnuts

  • Season 4 , Ep 1
  • 07/26/2013
  • Views: 18,276

Nick Turner attends a taping of "The Talk" and goes home with a death sentence. (2:23)

I'm already sweating.

Let's get into it.

I hate to start my set offso braggy, but I recently saw

television taping myselfof that show The Talk.

Still don't knowhow I got tickets.

If you don't know what TheTalk is, it's just like

The View...

in every way.

It's no difference.

They had a show and they'relike, "This one makes money.

What if we had two?"

Ah, and then they had two.

And, uh, and I wentto one of them.

Um,

so I went to The Talk.

And then halfway throughthe taping, uh,

the woman playing the Whoopicharacter,

Yeah, they had one of everybody.

She was like, "Everyone intoday's audience gets a free

year's supply of donuts!"

Which was the greatest newsI'd heard...

until I thought about it at all.

I'm like, "The world's mostdonut--" Wait a minute.

I probably don't needthe world's most donuts.

I'll not have that.

Uh, I don't know how manydonuts you guys think

are in a year's supply,

but according thedonut people

sitting up there in theirivory towers...

it's 52 dozen.

Too much?

Couple of you.

They picked it for a reason.

Uh, they had a meeting aboutit where they were like,

"All right, donut consumptionin a 12-month period?

Uh-huh.

For human beings.

Okay.

Yadda...I don'tknow, about 700?

Am I out of touch?

700.

Have you seen them?

We'll go with 700."

So they gave me a giftcard, and I could not

have all that power in myfingertips, so I immediately

sold it on eBay, uh, to awoman in Southern California

that I can onlyassume has died.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I never knew her.

But I can assume if you'retrolling eBay for donut

deals, it's time toturn that car around.

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