Exclusive - Nick Kroll - Cats and Dogs

Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool Season 1, Ep 101 01/29/2011 Views: 29,156

According to cartoons that Nick Kroll watches, dogs will bring you newspapers. (1:30)

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CATS OR DOGS, GUYS?

all: DOGS!

- CATS?ANYBODY SAY CATS?

- WHOO!

- CATS?

THE GIRL THAT LOOKS LIKESHE LIKES CATS LIKES CATS?

WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW,UH, YOU'RE WRONG.

CATS ARETHE FUCKING WORST.

[cheers and applause]

I HATE CATS.

THEY'RE SO COLDAND INDIFFERENT.

LIKE, A DOGWILL BRING YOU A NEWSPAPER,

ACCORDING TO CARTOONSTHAT I WATCH.

CAT'LL BE LIKE,

"OH.

"OH, YOU WANTED A NEWSPAPER?

"OH, I THOUGHT YOU WANTEDTHIS DECAPITATED RAT CARCASS.

OOPSIES."

I HAVE NEVER SEENA BLIND PERSON

WITH A CAT BEFORE.

SEEN A WHOLE LOT OF DOGSWITH THEM.

BLIND PERSON'S LIKE, "HEY, DOG,LET'S GO THE LIBRARY."

DOG'S LIKE,"YOU GOT IT!

"I DON'T CARETHAT YOU'RE BLIND

"AND YOU WANT TO GOTO THE LIBRARY.

LET'S DO THIS!"

IT'S LIKE, "HOW DO YOUKNOW WHERE THE LIBRARY IS?"

"GOOGLE MAPS, BRO."

CAT'S LIKE, "OH, YOU WANTEDTO GO TO THE LIBRARY?

"OH, I THOUGHT YOU WANTEDTO HANG OUT

UNDER THIS RADIATORFOR SIX HOURS."