Great to be here.
Anyone else addictedto these things?
So cool and new, we don't evenknow the side effects yet.
Literally, notesting's been done.
Perfect for the healthconscious pregnant teen.
I will never bepregnant-- for long.
My girlfriends, who arein their 30's, are all
freaking out becausethey want to have babies.
Meanwhile, men who are 38 arebarely ready for pet ownership.
I would rather walk inon a man hanging himself
while jerking off then havethem have one of those "Call
of Duty" headsets on.
That's the one where you protectour country from your couch
while you're eating a sandwich.
This is the guyI'm going to trust
to be the sperm donorto the Asian surrogate
that's going to carry my child?
That is a big decisionin a gal's life.
I mean, why do you a kid?
So you don't die alone, I guess.
I don't know though.
I remember when my grandmadied, she was pissing the bed
and shitting herself.
Calling me the "N word."
Think I want tobe alone for that.
I'm wearing Kirklanddiamonds this evening.
I'm not afraid to get mydiamonds where I get my salsa.
Tiffany's is great but I can'teat a churro while I check out.
This is Cutie.
Don't worry, thisone's been declawed.
It's amazing the clothes you canpick up at the animal shelter.
These boots were madefrom a pit bull that
couldn't get potty trained.
Fur's wasted oncreatures too stupid
to realize how glamorous it is.
And by creatures,I mean Beyonce.