Uncensored - Steve Rannazzisi - Ordering a Pizza Pt. 2

Steve Rannazzisi: Manchild Season 1, Ep 101 11/16/2013 Views: 5,269

Steve Rannazzisi gets more than he bargained for when he orders a pizza for his family. (2:23)

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"I DON'T KNOWWHAT JUST OCCURRED HERE,

"UM, BUT YOUR DELIVERY GENTLEMANCAME TO THE DOOR,

"AND THENHE DIDN'T HAVE THE PIZZA,

AND THEN HE YELLED AT MEAND LEFT."

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THE GUY ON THE PHONEWAS PHENOMENAL.

HE'S LIKE, "AW! SHIT!

"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

FRANK! THIS KID'S RETARDED!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

RIGHT AWAY -- RETARD, "F" BOMBS,HORRIBLE LANGUAGE.

I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVEDIN ANY OF THIS.

I JUST WANT TO FEED MY FAMILY.

HE GETS BACK ON THE PHONE.HE'S LIKE, "I'M SO SORRY, MAN."

I'M LIKE, "LOOK,I JUST WANT A PIZZA.

THAT'S ALL I WANT."

HE'S LIKE, "WE ARE GONNAGIVE YOU ONE FOR FREE.

"THIS ONE'S ON US.

PLEASE, JUST GIVE US20 MINUTES."

20 MINUTES GOES BY.

KNOCK AT THE DOOR, OPEN IT UP,

WHO WAS STANDING THEREBUT THE SAME DELIVERY GUY.

THIS TIME HE HAS A PIZZA.

NO EYE CONTACT --HE'S JUST LOOKING AT THE FLOOR.

AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

BECAUSE, IN MY MIND, I'M LIKE,

"HE IS HERE TO MURDER MEAND MY WHOLE FAMILY.

HE'S BEEN FIRED,AND NOW HE'S HERE TO KILL US."

SO I WAS JUST GONNA BE NICE.

I WAS LIKE, "OH! HEY, MAN!

"LOOK AT YOU...AGAIN.

"THAT'S...THAT'S GOOD.

"YOU HAD A GOOD DRY RUNTHERE, BUDDY.

"ALL RIGHT.IT'S GOOD TO PRACTICE THINGS.

"THAT'S A..THAT'S A GOOD STRATEGY.

YOU OKAY? YOU ALL RIGHT?WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?"

HE'S LIKE, "I'M SORRY, MAN.

"I'M SORRY.I, UH...

"I FUCKED UP A BIT, UM...

"YOU KNOW, UH, UH...

"FULL DISCLOSURE --I'M SUPER-BAKED RIGHT NOW, MAN.

I AM REALLY, REALLY HIGH."

AND I'M LIKE, "SO AM I, DUDE.

THAT'S WHY I ORDERED THIS PIZZA2h GODDAMN HOURS AGO."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WAS LIKE, "DID YOU HAVEA LOT OF DELIVERIES?"

HE WAS LIKE, "NO, MAN --JUST YOURS."

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

I WAS LIKE, "WAIT, WAIT,WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD ON.

"YOU GOT IN THE CARWITH NO PIZZA,

"DROVE TO MY HOUSE SANS PIZZA,

"JUST FUCK IT. 'AAH!'

"AND THEN I GUESS FELT,WHAT, OBLIGATED

TO COME IN AND SCREAM AT ME?"

I'M LIKE, "WHAT KIND OF SHITARE YOU SMOKING?"

HE GOES, "IT'S REALLY GOOD."

I'M LIKE, "FINE. YOU'REMY NEW DRUG DEALER. OKAY?"

[ APPLAUSE ]

"DON'T FORGET THE WEED."