Uncensored - Kyle Kinane - Settling Down

Kyle Kinane: "I Liked His Old Stuff Better" Season 1, Ep 101 01/23/2015 Views: 3,933

As Kyle Kinane has gotten older, he has started focusing on more attainable fantasies. (3:13)

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- I've been settling downwith, just,

I mean, just everything.

Settling down--

"Nurturing" is too strongof a word.

But it's definitely--things have mellowed out.

Like, I do--like, I lookat pet adoption websites

more than I look at pornographyonline now

just because that's, like,a more attainable fantasy.

Like, that's something--that's a situation I can see

actually happening in my life,

and that's whatmakes it attractive now.

It'll just be late night,in the middle of the night,

online, but it's just like, ah!

Two blondes gobbling my nob.

Never gonna happen.

Look at this littleChihuahua mix over here.

Me and this guyare gonna solve mysteries.

Like, that--

I'm gonna wear matching shirtswith a Lhasa Apso.

Take it easy, sluts!

And I don't want to referto them as sluts.

I don't feel good about that.

Like, this iswhere I'm at socially.

If--to explain where I'm at

on the social spectrum,I recently said "God bless you"

to a cat.

Like, I was alone in a roomwith a cat...

for a while.

Like, not even justa brief moment,

like an incident.

Like, this wasa whole afternoon.

Not my room.Not my cat.

But I was finewith this arrangement.

Like, this iswhat I can handle.

Me and somebody else's cat,

both of us just staringat walls, looking for answers.

And the cat sneezed,

and then it was quiet.

And that's what made it worse.

Because if itwould've just sneezed,

I would've been like,oh, God bless you, and then,

oh, you don't need that.You're a cat.

We would've laughed.It would've been funny.

But instead, there was a sneeze,and then it was just that moment

of just me sitting there, like,how do I play this right now?

Do I say something?

I was raised right.

I haveloving, porno-shopping parents

that instilled values in me.

I was like,yeah, but it's a cat.

[Bleep] it, I'm going for it.

So I turn to it,

said, "God bless you, cat."

I didn't even know its name.

I was just opening up for once.

God bless you, cat.

And the cat turnedand looked at me,

'cause that's what cats do,

they lookat the origin of sound.

But they havevery judgmental faces.

So everythingin that cat's expression

was just like,why would you say that?