Thomas Dale - Straight Boys

Non-Stop Dance Party Season 2, Ep 10 11/07/2014 Views: 3,012

Thomas Dale loves everything about straight guys, including their insane love of fantasy football. (1:42)

OH, MARON.HEY, BOO-BOO.

OH.I CAN'T.

I SOUND LIKE THIS'CAUSE I'M FROM NEW YORK,

SO JUST DEAL WITH ME.

OH, GOD.I'M GAY ALSO. UGH!

OH, GOD, RIGHT?

I CAN'T EVEN DEALWITH IT ANYMORE.

I'M GLAD EVERYBODY ELSEIS TRYING TO GET USED TO IT.

I GOT TO FRICKIN'--I HEAR PEOPLE--

THEY'RE LIKE,"OH, IT'S WEIRD WHEN I SEE

TWO GUYS HOLDING HANDS."

YEAH? I GOT TO HOLDHIS [bleep] HAND.

HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?OKAY?

IT'S WEIRD FOR ME TOO.OH, MARON.

OOH, I LOVE STRAIGHT BOYS,THOUGH.

OOH, I LOVE THEM!

OOH, I CAN'T DEAL WITH THEM!I WANT TO PINCH YOUR FACE!

RAWR!I LOVE YOU!

[laughter]OH, THEY'RE SO CUTE.

I LOVE THEM. AND THEN THEY PLAYFANTASY FOOTBALL.

AW.

IT'S NOT REAL.

IT'S MAKE-BELIEVE!

THEY'RE LIKE, "I HAVETO GET HOME FOR MY DRAFT."

NO, YOU DON'T.

THERE IS NO DRAFT.[laughing]

THEY'RE LIKE, "I'M GONNA GETPEYTON MANNING THIS YEAR."

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE, LIKE, CRAZY.

I LOVE THEM.

OH.AND THEY LOVE YOU GIRLS.

OH, THEY LOVE YOU GIRLS.

I'M SO FRICKIN' JEALOUS.I SWEAR. THEY DO.

SEE, I LOVE GIRLS TOO,

BUT, LIKE, I LOVE GIRLSIN A NORMAL WAY.

LIKE, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR DREAMSAND YOUR OPINIONS.

NOT THESE STRAIGHT BOYS--

THEY DON'T GIVE A SHITABOUT YOUR IDEAS. THEY DON'T.

THEY JUST WANT TO GET YOU NAKEDAND HANG YOU UPSIDE DOWN

AND BEND YOU OVERTHE KITCHEN COUNTER.

WHY?SANDWICHES GO THERE.

[laughter]

I HAVE TO PUT BREAD THEREIN THE MORNING.

I DON'T WANT VAGINAON MY SANDWICH.

I'M GLUTEN-FREE.

I'M JUST TRYINGTO LOVE MYSELF, YOU KNOW?