talking with my Grandfather for a couple hours.
I mean, it's like, two hours,
everything's great,everything's great.
He's remembering everything.
He asking about my career.
He's like,"What girl you dating now?"
He's telling meabout his day-to-day.
And I'm just like, "Oh, man,Grandpa's doing great."
I'm like, "Let's go to lunch."
He goes, "Man, I got groceries.
Why don't you just gomake some sandwiches?"
No problem.So I go in the kitchen,
and I'm just, like, pouringjuice, pouring chips on a plate,
and my grandfather just yellsat me from the other room,
"Hey, Tone,when you get a second,
"come check out this jacket!
"I don't think you everseen this jacket!
It's a cold-ass jacket!"
"All right, Grandpa,I'll be there in a second.
"Let me grab these sandwichesand this juice,
and I'll be there in a minute."Right?
So I grab the sandwichesand the juice and I walk back
in my granfather's room,my grandfather's standing
in the middle of the room,butt-naked with a blazer on.
"What you think?"
I was like, "Goddamn. Ah!
"Man, where your pants and yourunderwear at? This is awkward.
"What if somebody walks in hereand sees us?
This ain't gonna look right."
He goes, "Man, you supposedto be looking at the jacket.
"That's a nice jacket,but what if somebody...
"This is not gonnalook right, man.
You need to put some pants andsome underwear on or something."
He goes, "I'm tryingto show you this jacket,
and you looking at my balls."
I said, "I'm not... I'm not...
"I'm not. I wasn't. I am now.
"Why are your balls so long?
You got long-ass balls."
Like, tetherball long, okay?
Like, two eight ballsin a tube sock long.
He get an attitude.
"Man, you wish you had ballslike these.
You know, long ballsrun in our family."
I was like, "First of all,that's gross.
Second of all,how you know that?"
I'm like, "Grandpa, man, do mea favor, put some pants on,
"some underwear on or something,'cause I would hate
for you to be walkingaround the house and trip."
That's the last thing I need.
My grandfatherwalking around the house,
balls wrapped around his ankles.
He trip, hit his headon the coffee table.
Like, he's passed out.
I got to call the police and theambulance and explain this shit.
And they get to the house,"Oh, my God,
"why is your grandfatherlaying on the floor,
"butt-naked with a blazer on?
Oh, I'm sorry.Are these his balls?"
What am I supposed to say?
"Man, you supposed to belooking at the jacket."