Cathy Ladman - Halloween

Cathy Ladman & Bob Odenkirk Season 1, Ep 0109 02/24/1992 Views: 2,666

Cathy Ladman hated her costumes on Halloween. (1:58)

MY MOTHER NEVER ENCOURAGED ME

TO HAVE CREATIVE COSTUMESON HALLOWEEN.

IT WAS SUCHAN IMPORTANT DAY TO ME:

"OH, MA, WHAT SHOULD I BETHIS YEAR?"

"OH, UH... BE A GHOST AGAIN."

WHAT, DO YOU HAVE TO GET RIDOF ANOTHER OLD SHEET?

AND IT WASN'T EVEN A WHITESHEET; IT WAS A PRINT SHEET.

( laughter )

SORT OF BE LIKETHE MARTEX GHOST.

"OH, LITTLE GIRL, YOU SCARED MEWITH THAT BROWN PLAID."

( laughter )

"THAT IS THE UGLIEST COSTUMEI'VE EVER SEEN.

PLEASE TAKE YOUR CANDYAND LEAVE MY PORCH."

I WAS SO DEPRESSEDIN MY COSTUME, WALKING AROUND.

OH, I HATE MY COSTUME.

DRAGGING THE BAG ON THE CONCRETE

A BIG HOLE WOULD FORMIN THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG

AND ALL THE CANDYWOULD FALL OUT.

I'D GO HOME EMPTY-HANDEDAND DEGRADED AGAIN.

WHEN I GOT A BIT OLDER

I WAS TALLER AND I COULDCLEAR THE CONCRETE.

I WOULD MAKE IT HOMEWITH ALL MY CANDY

AND DUMP IT OUT ON THE BEDAND SEPARATE IT INTO TWO PILES:

ONE THAT I WOULD EATAND ONE THAT MY FATHER WOULD EAT

BECAUSE MY FATHERWOULD EAT ANYTHING.

MY FATHER WAS LIKETHE FAMILY GOAT.

( laughter )

"WAS IT THAT?

"THAT LOOKS GOOD.

"WHAT IS THAT, FORMICA?

OH, THOSE GOLD DOTSLOOK VERY GOOD."

I COME FROMONE OF THOSE FAMILIES

WHERE NO ONE WOULD THROW AWAY

THE HALF-GALLON BOXOF ICE CREAM.

WE'RE ALL TOO LAZYTO BREAK IT DOWN

SO IT WOULD FITINTO THE GARBAGE

SO WE PUT IT BACK IN THE FREEZERWITH, LIKE, A TEASPOONFUL LEFT.

BUT IT LOOKED DECEIVING FROMTHE OUTSIDE-- IT LOOKED FULL.

SO MY MOM, "GREAT, ICE CREAM.

"OH!

"I COULD'VE BROKEN MY HAND!

"LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN HERE.

OOH! LOOK AT THOSE CRYSTALS."

( laughter )

"WHAT FLAVOR IS THAT?

"THEY DON'T EVENMAKE THAT ANYMORE.

DAD'LL EAT IT."