Mike Britt - Smarter

  • Season 6 , Ep 4
  • 05/12/2002
  • Views: 5,222

Your ego can get you in trouble. (3:51)

MIKE BRITT>> I'M GOING TO TELL

YOU WHY WE GET IN A LOT OF

TROUBLE.

MEN, 'CAUSE WE ARE STUPID.

WE ARE STUPID, MEN.

(CHEERS)

TELLING YOU, WE DON'T HAVE THE

LYING CAPACITY THAT WOMEN HAVE.

WOMEN ARE A LOT SMARTER THEN US

WHEN IT COMES TO DOING DIRT.

I'M TELLING YOU.

YOU WANT TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN

CHEATING?

PLANNING.

YEAH.

WOMEN AIN'T-- SHE AIN'T DECIDED

TO SLEEP WITH HIM TODAY.

OH, THEY BEEN WORKING ON THIS

FOR AWHILE.

THEY CALL ALL THE CHICKS

INVOLVED TO ONE PLACE.

THEY'VE GOT CHALKBOARDS UP.

ASSIGNMENTS, HAND OUTS,

WALKIE TALKIES.

THEY ON THE INTERNET.

WWW.SNEAKYBITCHES.COM.

(LAUGHTER)

THEY IS LINKED UP.

I KNOW.

THAT'S GOING TO GO OVER SMOOTH.

GUYS, WHAT DO WE DO?

WE GO AHEAD AND DO HE DIRT,

THEN PRAY EVERYTHING FALL INTO

PLACE AS WE GO ALONG.

THAT'S THE TYPE OF THING MEN DO.

THAT'S ASS BACKWARDS.

THERE'S TOO MUCH EGO.

YOUR EGO GET YOU IN TROUBLE.

HERE'S THE PERFECT EXAMPLE.

I READ AN ARTICLE THE OTHER DAY

THAT SAID A LOT OF WOMEN ARE

HAVING TROUBLE DATING, RIGHT?

BECAUSE THEY MAKING MORE MONEY

THAN MEN NOW 'CAUSE A LOT MORE

WOMEN THAT ARE GOING TO COLLEGE,

YOU KNOW, BECOMING CEOs.

WHICH IS GOOD, RIGHT?

BUT THE MEN ARE FEELING

INTIMIDATED 'CAUSE THE WOMEN

ARE MAKING MORE MONEY.

I SAID WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE

IS THIS?

WHAT DIFFERENCE WOULD IT MAKE

IF YOU GOT A GOOD WOMAN AND SHE

MAKING MORE MONEY THEN YOU ARE?

THAT DOESN'T MAKE NO SENSE

AT ALL.

LIVE THE GOOD LIFE.

WHY YOU GOING TO MESS IT UP?

YOUR EGO GOING TO GET YOU

IN TROUBLE.

SEE YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF THE

HOUSE.

LET ME HAVE THE WOMAN MAKING

$500,000 A YEAR AND I MAKE 20.

I'M GOING TO BE THE MAN OF THE

HOUSE BUT I'M SMART.

I KNOW HOW TO DO IT.

IF I'M PLAYING MY GAME

AND SHE COME IN WITH THE SAME

NONSENSE, YOU KNOW, SHE COME IN,

AS SOON AS SHE START YELLING.

"THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

YOU SITTING HERE PLAYING THIS

DAMN GAME.

AIN'T NOTHING DONE"--

I BE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT

BUT YOU DON'T GOT TO YELL."

(LAUGHTER)

ALL RIGHT?

NOW I'M GOING TO CLEAN UP

IN HERE.

I'M GOING TO GO IN THAT KITCHEN

AND MAKE SOME LASAGNA WITH SOME

GARLIC BREAD AND SOME SALAD.

AND I'M GOING TO LICK YOU WHERE

YOU LIKE IT AND YOU GOING TO

SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL UP IN MY FACE.

UP IN MY FACE YELLING.

YOU NEED TO BE UPSTAIRS IN THAT

BATH AND BODY BUBBLE BATH

I GOT WAITING FOR YOU

WITH THE PEACH SCRUB.

THAT'S WHERE YOU NEED TO BE.

YOUR ASS UP THEM STAIRS.

I GUARANTEE YOU SHE WON'T SAY

NOTHING.

SHE WON'T MUMBLE BUT GUESS WHERE

SHE BE HEADING.

(LAUGHTER)

"WHO IS HE TALKING TO?"

"TALKING TO YOU."

I DON'T LET NOTHING BOTHER ME

NO MORE.

I'VE RELEASE MYSELF NOW.

WHEN I'M GOING TO GO AWAY FROM

STUFF, I DO THE RIVER DANCE.

THAT'S A PEACEFUL--

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THAT BROTHER?

WHITE PEOPLE, YOU ALMOST GOT IT.

YOU ALMOST GOT THAT.

YOU GOT THE BOTTOM MOVING

BUT THE TOP AIN'T MOVING YET.

HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.

THIS IS WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT.

WHAT IF WAS A THUGGED OUT

IRISH DUDE?

BUT HE CHANGED THE RIVER DANCE

A LITTLE BIT?

IT AIN'T THE SAME RIVER DANCE

IT WAS BEFORE.

YOU KNOW IT'D BE SOMETHING

LIKE THIS.

♪ (RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ SO SCREW YOUR PARADE

♪ AND YOUR GREEN LEMONADE

♪ I JUST CAME TO YOUR COUNTRY

♪ TO MAKE SURE I GET LAID

♪ THE RIVER'S DOWN

♪ THE RIVER'S DOWN

(LAUGHTER)

♪ I DON'T NEED A LEPRECHAUN

♪ OR A FOUR LEAF CLOVER

♪ AFTER I SPIN MY LINES

♪ I'M TAKING HIP HOP OVER

♪ THE RIVERS DOWN

♪ THE RIVER'S DOWN

(APPLAUSE)

I HAD A GREAT TIME.

I'M MIKE BRITT.

ENJOY THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

YOU ALL GOD BLESS.

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