Arnez J - Oral Surgery

  • Season 7 , Ep 27
  • 08/28/2003
  • Views: 15,955

After 12 shots of Novocain, you can barely talk, let alone drive. (3:20)

HAPPENED TO ME THIS SUMMER.

OH, MY GOD.

I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF Y'ALL

HAVE EVER BEEN TO THE DENTIST

TO HAVE MAJOR SURGERY ON YOUR

TOOTH-- ORAL SURGERY.

OH, MY GOD, IT IS THE--

I HAD TO GO AND HAVE SURGERY

DONE ON MY TOOTH.

I HAD AN INFECTION IN THE ROOT

AND IT SPLIT AND HIT MY NERVE.

AND IT'S THE WORST THING AS A

MAN YOU EVER WANT TO GO THROUGH.

I MEAN, I'D RATHER HAVE A BABY

OUT OF MY BOOTIE HOLE--

FULLY AWAKENED WITH

NO EPIDERAL.

[LAUGHTER]

I COULD HAVE A BABY OUT OF

MY BUTT AND THEN SAY, "PULL IT!

PULL IT!

I'VE BEEN TO THE DENTIST."

BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHAT

HAPPENED.

THEY GAVE ME 12 SHOTS OF

NOVOCAIN.

AND I STILL DIDN'T GO NUMB,

BECAUSE THE INFECTION KEPT

PUSHING THE NOVOCAIN BACK OUT.

IT WAS LIKE HANDLING THE

NOVOCAIN LIKE IT WAS A GANGSTER.

WELL, LIKE, "WHATCU WANT

IN HERE, NOVA?"

"BETTA GET ON OUTTA HERE,

GET ON OUTTA HERE."

[LAUGHTER]

BUT ANYWAY, WHEN THEY FINALLY

FIXED IT YOU KNOW THEY DID THE

SURGERY ON THE TOOTH, AND THEN

ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU KNOW--

NOW REMEMBER I JUST HAD

A SHOT OF 12 NOVOCAIN NEEDLES.

FINALLY IT WANTED TO WORK.

AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT.

SO I GET UP OUTTA THE CHAIR.

THEY SAY, "ARE YOU OKAY MR. J?"

I'M LIKE, [GARBLED LANGUAGE].

"[GARBLED] SAID TO ME.

I [GARBLED] ON MY LEG."

I CAN'T FEEL MY LEG."

SHE SENT ME HOME LIKE THAT.

AND THEN I GET A TICKET

BECAUSE I CAN'T--

I'M DRIVING RECKLESSLY.

I CAN'T FEEL THE STEERING WHEEL.

AND THEN YOU KNOW AFTER AN

EXPERIENCE LIKE THAT,

YOU JUST WANT A HUG FROM

SOMEBODY.

SO I DON'T KNOW IF MOST OF YOU

KNOW ME-- SO I CALLED MY MOMMA

TO GET A HUG ON THE PHONE.

I DON'T KNOW IF MOST OF YOU ALL

KNOW IT, BUT I HAVE A BROTHER

THAT'S MENTALLY HANDICAPPED--

OR HE'S SLOW.

AND DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR HIM,

'CAUSE HE'S MEAN.

HE'S A MEAN HANDICAPPED PERSON.

HOW YOU GONNA BE HANDICAPPED

AND MEAN AT THE SAME TIME?

SO-- WELL, WAIT A MINUTE,

SO I CALLED MY MOM AND HE

ANSWERED THE PHONE.

NOW REMEMBER, I JUST HAD

12 SHOTS OF NOVOCAIN.

SO I'M NOT SPEAKING TOO CLEARLY.

SO THE PHONE, "[GARBLED]

MOM AT?"

"WHO ARE YOU SAYING?

WHY ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?"

"[GARBLED] I HAD NOVOCAIN."

HE SAID, "OH, YOU SON OF

A BITCH!

OOH, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN

I SEE YOU."

AND HE THOUGHT I WAS TRYING

TO TALK ABOUT HIM, BUT I WASN'T.

I JUST COULDN'T SPEAK RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG

WITH--

AND THEN MY MOM--

BLESS HER SOUL--

MY MOM-- SHE'S A SMART WOMAN,

BUT SHE HAS A SPEECH PROBLEM.

AND MY MOMMA CAN'T TALK

TOO GOOD.

AND RODNEY'S THE ONLY ONE

THAT CAN UNDERSTAND HER.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

SO ONE DAY, SHE CURSED US OUT

BECAUSE ALL THE COOKIES WERE

GONE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GOT SIX

BROTHERS COOKIES ARE NOT GOING

TO LAST TWO WEEKS.

THEM COOKIES WERE GONE WITHIN

45 MINUTES.

SO SHE'S IN THE KITCHEN.

SHE'S LIKE, "[INAUDIBLE]?"

I SAID, "WHAT DID SHE SAY!"

I SAY, "WHAT RODNEY?"

"[INAUDIBLE]."

SO RODNEY, "SHE SAY--

OOH, SHE SAY 'SOMEBODY ATE ALL

THE COOKIES.

THEY IN TROUBLE, DOG'."

"AND-- SHE SAID ALL THAT?"

[LAUGHTER]

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