the Hillary Clinton campaign.
Ever since she's clinched...
clinchedthe Democratic nomination,
she has slowlybeen building up steam.
Her previous rival has intimatedthat he's dropping out,
she's ahead of Trumpin the polls,
and recently,she gained a powerful new ally.
U.S. senator, Elizabeth Warren,
has made her debuton the campaign trail
with the presumptive Democraticnominee, Hillary Clinton.
NEWSWOMAN: Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren
joining forces today for the first time in the campaign.
Hillary Clinton will be the nextpresident of the United States
because she knows what it takesto beat a thin-skinned bully
who is driven by greed and hate.
That's Elizabeth Warren'sbadass fighting style.
Float like a butterfly,sting like the librarian
who just shut up your friendsin the library.
But getting Elizabeth Warrento campaign with Hillary
is actually a really big deal.
First of all, Elizabeth Warrenis one of the leading voices
in the fine artof trolling Donald Trump.
And she's alsoprobably one of the country's
top progressive icons today.
It's basically Bernie Sanders,Elizabeth Warren
Now, that's progressive.
So Clinton's main challengeis to unify the country,
and this new alliance withWarren is a really good sign
she might be able to do it,because until recently,
they hated each other.
Elizabeth Warren has rippedHillary Clinton in the past.
-Yes. -You know,in her book about bankruptcy.
I mean, there is real... somereal poisonous history there.
...the credit card companies.
She has taken moneyfrom the groups,
and more to the point,
she worries about themas a constituency.
Yeah, but...she only said those things
because she was hungry.
People say crazy thingswhen they're hungry.
Once I asked my wifefor a divorce when I was hungry.
Yeah. And I'm not even married.
You see how crazyhunger makes you?
You know what, though,this is... this is genuinely
what I loveabout politics in America.
People can spend years(bleep) on each other,
and then whenit suits their needs,
(British accent):I'll flip your flopper.
I believe, uh, this is whatpolitical scientists refer to
as Reverse Taylor Swifting.
Yes, you see,they used to have bad blood,
-but now they have mad love.-(laughter)
But, uh, let's takea second here to comment
on what a historic momentthis is.
For the first timein American history,
the presumptiveDemocratic presidential nominee
is a woman, people...
and she's joined on stage
by another qualified,powerful woman.
-(cheering, applause)-I am sure... I am sure...
that the news recognized this.
Hillary Clinton being joinedby Senator Elizabeth Warren.
Did you seethe matching pantsuits?
Did they selecttheir outfits together?
Well, the good thing is that
they're actually sellingthose painting smocks
on the Clinton Web siteand signing them.
You know that the Blues Brotherswere, uh, John Belushi
and, uh, Dan Aykroyd.
The Blues Sisters-- there they are right there.
Not only did they havethe matching suits,
they had the matching hair.
To see Hillaryand Elizabeth Warren
in matchingshocking blue pantsuits,
shrieking at the audience...
Yeah, and, I mean,to see all of us "news pundits"
focusing on tabloid-levelwardrobe minutiae
with these female politicians
in a way we never dowith their male counterparts,
who are always wearingthe exact matching outfits
-(cheering, applause)-is equally shocking.
I'm easily shocked.
So... it's the beginningof a Clinton-Warren friendship,
but with all the beginningsmust come some endings.
And it looks like Hillarymay have finally reached
the ending of her Benghazi.
You know Benghazi?The terror attack in Libya
that inspired thousandsof pages of reports,
multiple attack ads,and even a Michael Bay movie.
The point is,Republicans have been desperate
to find any evidence to blameHillary Clinton for Benghazi,
but after multipleinvestigations,
they couldn't prove it,so they launched
one final, special,super-select investigation...
and it was run by this dude--
South Carolina congressman,Trey Gowdy.
He came inand made it all personal.
He made it his personal quest
to find out everythingthat happened in Benghazi,
no matter how damningit was to Hillary.
We're gonna follow the factswherever they go,
and-and if that impactspeople's perception
of her fitness to becommander in chief, so be it.
(impersonating Gowdy):So be it!
Trey Gowdy was determinedto get to the truth
about Hillary and Benghazi.Yeah, it was gonna be
his happiest daysince he was a penis
that wished on a magic condomto become a real boy.
after two yearsof the investigation,
he finally issuedthe final report.
After a two-year,$7 million investigation,
the authors of the reportmake no new accusations
and provide no new evidenceof wrongdoing
against the former secretaryof state Hillary Clinton.
Of course you found nothing!
This was the ninthofficial investigation.
You don't discover new thingsthe ninth time.
If it hasn't changedin the first eight,
what makes you thinkit's gonna change in the ninth?
It's not like in the ninth Saw movie the bad guy
is suddenly gonna go,"You want to play a game?
"Let's playHungry Hungry Hippos.
It's new, it's the ninth time."
So now Trey Gowdyhas spent two years
with nothing to show for it.Nothing to show for it,
except multicl...multiple follicle crimes
that he calls haircuts.What the hell is this?
Look at this guy.The dude looks like
a Michael Douglas moviethat's been squeezed
to fit on your screen,that's what that looks like.
And look, that's nota partisan thing.
It is widely understoodthat there's nothing here
that changes anything,no matter what
Trey Gowdy keeps sayingabout new information.
I actually trust youto read the report.
You read the report.
Well, I'm asking you to read it.
I'm actually proudof what we found
and I think it's new.
To the Democrats' claimthere's no new information,
I haven't heard muchabout this White House meeting.
I'm gonna tell youthere's new information.
I've got information, man.
New (bleep) has come to light.
A-And, (bleep), man...
B-By the way,just by the way, real quick,
the report he's speaking aboutis 800 pages. Yeah.
You can't just tell peopleto read 800 pages.
You know when you say that,no one's actually gonna
go out and read the 800 pages.
I wouldn't even read 800 emojis.
That is not somethingyou could say.
Look, look, here's my point.
I understand Republicanshate Hillary.
But at some pointyou have to admit
that this isn'twhere you're going to get her.
All you've done is wasteseven million dollars
of taxpayer moneyand your own credibility
on a personal grudge. Yeah.
Could Benghazi have beenhandled better? Yes.
Could the state departmentdo better
protecting its ambassadorsin the future? Yes.
But you're not getting anywheregoing after Clinton.
So, Trey Gowdy and company,
you've done the proper amountof investigating and then some,
and still, you'vecome up with nothing new.
So, fair warning, my friends--if you're not careful,
and you continue on this path,it's only a matter of time
before you fine yourselves
holding your next hearingon PornHub.