I JOINED THE HEALTH CLUB,AND THAT'S INTIMIDATING.

THEY ALWAYS HAVE SOME BIGGIANT GUY SHOWING YOU AROUND.

"HEY, THINKING OF JOINING HERE,FOLLOW HIM."

I FELT LIKE A LITTLE MONKEY.

"WHERE ARE WE GOING,THUNDER?"

THEY GAVE ME A CLIPBOARDFOR MY FIRST DAY.

CAN YOU FEEL LIKE MOREOF A LOSER WITH A CLIPBOARD?

"I'M NEW.

I'M SUPPOSED TO CHECK THINGSAS I SEE 'EM."

[laughter]

AND I THINK THE GUYWAS MAKING UP MUSCLE NAMES

JUST TO PLAY GAMES WITH ME,YOU KNOW.

THIS MACHINE RIGHT HERE--IT'S FOR YOUR FLACK-TOID.

[laughter]

THAT'S THE TOIDI'M WORKING ON.

AND THEN HE LEAVES.

I DON'T REMEMBERANYTHING HE SAID.

ALL I KNOW IS I DON'T THINKI EVER FELT SO ALONE IN MY LIFE.

I'M IN A HEALTH CLUBWITH A CLIPBOARD,

AND NOBODY'S TALKING TO ME,YOU KNOW.

I HAD BLACK SOCKS ON.

ALL I KNEW IS I DIDN'TWANT TO FOLLOW THESE BIG GUYS

THAT ARE ABLE TO MOVE THEENTIRE RACK OF PLATES, YOU KNOW.

I DON'T WANT TO GO NEXTAND BE MOVING ONLY TWO PLATES.

CLANK.CLANK.

CLANK.

"I'M THE TWO-PLATE GUY."

CLANK.

"WHO WANTS TO SPOT ME?"

CLANK.

[applause]

SO I GET AWAY FROM THESE GUYS,

AND I GO OVERTO THIS OTHER AREA

WHERE THERE'S NOBODY AROUND,AND I GOT INTO THIS ONE THING,

BUT I GOT INTO IT WRONG,APPARENTLY.

I DON'T WHERE YOUR ARMS AND LEGSARE SUPPOSED TO GO,

SO I JUST GET IN THERE,AND I JUST START MOVING STUFF.

[laughter]

THIS GUY COMES UP--

"HEY, BUDDY,WOULD YOU MIND

GETTING OUTOF THE PAINTERS SCAFFOLDING?"