Aries Spears - National Geographic

  • Season 9 , Ep 15
  • 05/19/2005
  • Views: 14,375

There are certain noises black people don't mess with. (2:58)

WHERE THE WEED SMOKERS AT?

ANY WEED SMOKERS OUT HERE?

[SCATTERED CHEERS]

Y'ALL LYING.

Y'ALL COP'S, UN-HUH.

[LAUGHTER]

REAL WEED SMOKERS DON'T

YELL OUT, WE GOT CODES AND

SHHHH, IN THE BACK.

I KNOW WHO THE COPS ARE NOW.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE TO DO?

I LIKE TO SMOKE WEED AND WATCH

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC.

YA KNOW, 'CAUSE I LIKE TO SEE

THE NATURE CHANNEL.

I LIKE TO SEE THE ANIMALS IN

THEIR NATURAL HABITAT.

I LIKE TO SEE 'EM UP CLOSE,

YA KNOW.

BUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US

AND Y'ALL IS WE STAY IN THE

TRUCK.

WHITE PEOPLE, Y'ALL GOT

SOMETHING CALLED, "UP CLOSE

AND PERSONAL."

THERE ARE CERTAIN NOISES BLACK

PEOPLE DON'T MESS WITH.

"MEOW", WE LIKE CATS.

"ARR ARR."

WE OWN DOGS.

[GROWLS]

[LAUGHTER]

[ROARS]

WE DON'T DO THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

WHITE PEOPLE, Y'ALL HEAR...

[ROARS]

"WHAT'S THAT IN THE BUSHES?

[LAUGHTER]

HONEY, GET THE CAMCORDER,

LET'S DOCUMENT THIS."

THAT'S WHY Y'ALL BE ON REAL TV,

Y'ALL BE CHECKIN' STUFF OUT THAT

AIN'T YO BUSINESS.

Y'ALL WILL DO SOMETHING LIKE

TRANQUILIZE A LION AND HOLD HIM

'TIL HE WAKE UP.

AND THAT BE HEAVY TO Y'ALL,

Y'ALL BE IN THE CAMERA,

[BREATHING HEAVY] "WELL,

MY PARTNER BOB AND I, WE'VE

BEEN TRACKING THIS PARTICULAR

BEAST FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

HER NAME IS ATULU.

SHE'S SEVEN MONTHS OLD.

WE JUST SHOT HER WITH ABOUT

5 CC'S OF TETRICORTOLINE DARTS.

WHEN SHE GETS UP, SHE GONNA BE

[BLEEP] PISSED.

OH, MY GOD BOB, DO YOU FEEL YOUR

HEART POUNDING, THIS IS AWESOME.

OKAY, SHE'S GETTING UP... ROAR!

OH, MY GOD, SHE MAULED ME,

DID YOU GET THAT?"

AFRICANS DON'T EVEN BE OUT THERE

MESSING WITH THE LIONS.

[LAUGHTER]

AND THEY GET MAD WHEN YOU

ASK 'EM, "MR. MATUMBU, WHY YOU

DON'T PLAY WITH THE LIONS?"

"I'M NOT [BLEEP] WITH THAT

MOTHER [BLEEP], [BLEEP] HIM,

AND [BLEEP] YOU!"

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

"YOU THINK BECAUSE I'M AFRICAN,

I'M SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

I NOT GOING--

I HAVE MY CHILDREN, MAGULU,

MANDULU AND OOHOO, I CAN'T

DO IT MESSING WITH THAT!

I WILL WAIT IN THE TRUCK WITH

THE RIDE, YOU BETTER COME,

I WILL LEAVE YOU

MOTHER [BLEEP]."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I TELL YA MAN, THAT'S WHY

I APPRECIATE ACCENTS,

I APPRECIATE OTHER CULTURES.

I THINK THAT'S THE KEY TO

RACISM MAN, YOU GOTTA BE WILLING

TO INVEST IN OTHER CULTURES,

'CAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY

I DON'T CARE WHAT COLOR YOU ARE,

EVERYBODY GOT SOMETHING TO BRING

TO THE TABLE.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, SAMPLE THAT,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

SAMPLE THAT!

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU COULD

BE MISSING.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE IF YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHT

ACCENT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH

A LOT OF STUFF MAN, YA KNOW?

YOU BE IN A CLUB AND SAY

SOMETHING FOUL TO A WOMEN IN

AN AMERICAN ACCENT, SHE MIGHT

SLAP THE [BLEEP] OUT YOU.

LIKE, "EXCUSE ME BABY, I DON'T

MEAN TO BOTHER YOU, BUT YOU GOT

A PHAT ASS.

[LAUGHTER]

I LOVE TO TAKE YOU HOME AND BANG

THE [BLEEP] OUTCH YOU!"

"OH YOU BASTARD!"

[SLAPPING SOUND]

YOU GOT AN ENGLISH ACCENT,

THAT JUST ROLL OFF THE TONGUE

DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW?

LIKE [ENGLISH ACCENT]

"EXCUSE ME, I DON'T MEAN TO

BOTHER YOU, BUT I'D REALLY LIKE

TO TAKE YOU HOME, [BLEEP]

YOU DOGGIE STYLE FOR A LITTLE

BIT, YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

THAT IS SEXY!

OH, MY GOD!

THAT IS SO SEXY!"

[CHEERING]

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