John Heffron - Life Caddy

  • Season 8 , Ep 1
  • 01/29/2004
  • Views: 5,916

John's life caddy sizes up an important decision. (0:59)

AND I'M NOT A GOLFER.

I LIKE THE BEER CART GIRLS.

THAT'S ABOUT IT.

AND I GOTTA TELL YOU.

IT WAS AWESOME BECAUSE I GOT TO

HAVE A CADDIE.

AND I'VE NEVER HAD A CADDIE

BEFORE, GOLFING.

AND IT WAS SWEET.

BECAUSE THE ENTIRE DAY THERE'S

SOMEBODY WALKING AROUND BEHIND

ME, MAKING DECISIONS FOR ME.

ANYTIME I GET IN A JAM I WOULD

JUST GO, "HEY, MAN, WHAT WOULD

YOU DO IN THIS PARTICULAR

SITUATION?"

AND THEN HE WOULD JUST LOOK

AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

THE WHOLE DAY I DIDN'T HAVE TO

MAKE ONE DECISION.

THIS MADE ME THINK.

THAT'S WHY I'M GOING TO START

A COMPANY.

[LAUGHTER]

RIGHT?

AND WE'RE GOING TO OFFER YOU

LIFE CADDIES.

SOMEBODY CAN JUST WALK BEHIND

YOU.

AND ANYTIME YOU CAN'T MAKE A

DECISION, YOU CAN DEFER TO THEM.

YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, MAN.

I'M-- I DON'T KNOW.

HEY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THIS

PARTICULAR SITUATION?"

[LAUGHTER]

"I DON'T KNOW.

I'D GO WITH THE STRIPPER WITHOUT

THE GLITTER."

HEY, THAT'S MY TIME.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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