Uncensored - Behind the Scenes - Mike Lawrence - Most Alive I've Ever Felt

Mike Lawrence Season 2, Ep 10 05/31/2013 Views: 1,778

Mike Lawrence recounts the first time he really bombed: telling breast cancer jokes at a lesbian bar. (2:13)

(audience cheers)

- [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Lawrence.

(dance music)

- My pre-show ritual is to listen to Lionel Richie's

"Dancing on the Ceiling" abunch of times because in order

to do that you have to be able to control space and time,

and I think I accomplishthat with my dick jokes.

My dick's like Nicolas Cage

because it'll be in anything.

(audience laughs)

For someone in this room, this is exactly

what they wanted comedy to be.

(audience laughs)

The first time that I really bombed

was actually three weeks in.

I was at a lesbian bar and I did breast cancer jokes

and they threw beer bottles at me and tried to kill me,

and it's the most alivethat I've ever felt

and probably thereason I still do this.

Let's be really honest here.

You can tell that I've lived a rough life, all right?

It's hard to look like a virgin, but also look like you

just buried your wife at the same time.

Literally, I called my dad 15 minutes ago to have him

wish me good luck tonight and he said,

"Oh, are you doing something tonight?" (laughs)

Like I won't say my dad issues are bad,

but I know I'm going through dad issues because I watch

the movie Finding Nemo everyday, but I turn it off

10 minutes before the end when they reunite

because that's not howreal life fucking works.

(audience laughs)

He's not here yet, but he's standing all the way

in the balcony waiting to slow clap when I'm done, right?

Right, papa?

We practiced this.

When my dad eventually sees my half hour

because he's not here, he would just hold me,

rub my head, and say, "That'll do, pig. That'll do."

I'm working on a book right now,

"The 50 Shades of Unfuckable."

The name of my stand-upcomedy memoir will be,

"I Need This" and then the subtitle will be,

"No, I Really Fucking Need This."

I think that captures the feeling of being a comic the most.

(dance music)