Michael Ian Black - Total Jerk

  • Season 3 , Ep 5
  • 08/17/2012
  • Views: 3,653

Michael Ian Black discusses the manifestations of his parenting fears. (1:25)

being a total jerk to mywife.

I wish I could say it wasotherwise.

It was not, I was horrible toher.

An example: she hasmorning sickness,

like, almost immediately.

She feels bad, she's throwingup every morning, you know.

And so, I'm doing thingslike,

you know, opening a can oftuna and eating it in front

of her, like, first thing inthe morning.

You know, just going, "mmm,this tuna's delicious."

And she'll be like, "could younot eat tuna in front of me

at dawn?" You know,and I'm like,

"oh, are you gonna takeeating tuna out of a can away

"from me just like you'vetaken everything else?"

Things like that, you know.

The worst thing I ever didwas,

you know, as the baby wasgetting close to being born,

she's like, you know, "wereally need to paint

"the baby's nursery."

And I'm like, "you'reabsolutely right.

Here's a stepladder," and Iwalked away.

That's the kind of [bleep]I'm doing.

So one day, right before thebaby's due,

I'm thinking to myself, Igotta get better.

I gotta get my act together.

Let me do something for thebaby.

What does the baby need?

Ah, the baby needsa new desk...

for me to put my laptop onso I can play online poker.

So I'm gonna get the baby adesk so I get into my car.

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