Natasha Leggero - Johnny Legs

Natasha Leggero Season 15, Ep 16 03/25/2011 Views: 81,545

Natasha Leggero reads a newspaper article that perfectly encapsulates the reasons why she hates going back to her hometown. (2:38)

I love being in New York.

Every time I stay hereI stay in a different area.

Right now,I'm in Chinatown,

which I like to callthe illegal purse district...

[cheers and applause]

because, for some reason,every day at 5 o'clock,

the cops come and arrestall these poor Haitians

who are trying to sell fakedesigner purses to tourists.

I mean, do theNew York police really know

the difference between a realdesigner purse and a fake one?

It's not like, "Freeze!

"You telling me thatthat piece of [deleted]

"is a 'Marc JacobsClassic Signature', homo?

[cheers and applause]

"Come on!"

[cheers and applause]

So, I'm from Illinois--Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

I just went hometo visit my family,

and I asked them,"Hey, are you guys planning on

"talking in those accentsthe whole time I'm home?"

[audience laughing]

And my Mom's like, "You usedto talk like this too, 'Tasha."

"Uh, yes, but you seeI've reinvented myself."

[audience laughing]

My Dad's discoveredthe Internet.

Uh, just becausesomeone raised you

does not mean that you haveto add them on "Facebook."

[cheers and applause]

My Dad has noidea how it works.

He's picking upon my friends.

He's given himselfa mobster name.

Now he's knownas "Johnny Leggs."

[audience laughing]

He's racist.

Like, some guy with a Spanishlast name wrote on my wall,

he's like,"I wanna marry you."

And my Dad's like, "Overmy dead body, José Cuervo!"

[audience laughing]

[cheers and applause]


I do hate going hometo visit my family,

and it's hard for me toexplain why without being rude.

So, I actually broughta newspaper article - hold on -

from my hometownnewspaper I'd like to read,

which, sort of illustrateswhy I never go home.

All right,you're gonna love this.

It's called...Oh, the title-- it's called,

"Armless woman refused serviceat fast food restaurant."

[audience laughing]

"Rockford, Illinoiswoman, Evanne Dawson,

"who was bornwithout arms,

"was refused serviceat a fast food restaurant

"when the staffrefused to let her

"take away herfood with her feet.

[audience laughing]

"Dawson pulled upto the window,

"gave the cashier hercredit card with her foot

"and was toldby the cashier,

"'Girl, you ain'tgot no arms.'"

[audience laughing]

[cheers and applause]