Uncensored - Behind the Scenes - Andy Haynes - This Is to Enjoy

Andy Haynes Season 2, Ep 13 06/14/2013 Views: 2,313

Andy Haynes shares a secret about going to work high, tries to forget the worst heckle he ever had and describes the shadiest venue he's ever played. (2:24)

(hip hop music)

- [Announcer] Ladies andgentlemen, Andy Haynes!

- My pre-show rituals are a lot of pacing

and then usually like asolid hour of dancing,

just mix it up.

And then I make myself throw up,

just 'cause I wannalook thin and desirable.

We all think that models are like really attractive

'cause we see them in amagazine or on a runway

and there's a team of robots that put them together.

But when you see a model on a Sunday morning at 8 a.m.

it just looks like a really tall tired little boy.

You can get a model to eat out of your hand though.

You just have to have cocaine and money.

(shushes)

And then just like as much drugs as I can put in my face.

I like pot because you can work high.

Did you guys know that?

You can go to work high.

It's great.

And here's the secret about it.

If you go to workhigh, you didn't really

go to work, did you?

(audience laughs)

They even each other out, you just hung out someplace.

(audience laughs)

The worst set I ever had...

Oh man that's a hard one.

We should lighten it up a little bit.

Do you guys remember 9/11?

(man in audience boos)

Yeah I say the same thing.

Boo to 9/11.

If you guys wanna see me get beat up after the show...

(audience laughs)

It'll be by all the guyswith the Celtic tattoos.

(audience laughs)

The shadiest room Iever played was a casino

in Pasco, Washington, where they didn't have

an official show, they just had this room

that they put free pizza in.

And then you were supposed to tell jokes

while gambling addicts and drunks

came and got their pizza.

But all the comics that stayed there

left an additional piece of porn

underneath the mattress so...

Yeah.

We all know hotel sex is the best sex.

I think it's cause thefurniture doesn't belong

to anybody, it's everybody's.

And that means put your ass on things

and put things in your ass.

Go for it!

It doesn't matter, that's what your deposit's for.

I think one time somebody told me with a big show like this

they said, "don't get nervous for this kind of show

because this is like the reward

for every other show."

So those are the shows that you could get nervous on

and then this is the show to enjoy.

(hip hop music)