Katt Williams - New President

Season 1 01/25/09 Views: 186,724

Can we be single as a country for a while, and maybe date a president and see how that works out? (1:53)

PRESIDENT, AND ALL THEY WANT US

TO DO IS PICK A NEW PRESIDENT.

I FEEL LIKE--DIDN'T WE JUST GET

OUT OF A FUCKED-UP

RELATIONSHIP?

MAYBE WE DON'T NEED A PRESIDENT

RIGHT NOW.

CAN WE BE SINGLE AS A COUNTRY

FOR A WHILE AND MAYBE DATE A

PRESIDENT, SEE HOW THAT WORK OUT

FOR A COUPLE MONTHS?

THIS SHIT BULLSHIT.

I BEEN CONFUSED.

THE WHOLE GODDAMN ELECTION, I

BEEN CONFUSED, 'CAUSE

EVERYBODY COMMERCIALS SOUND GOOD

AT 2:30 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING

AND YOU DONE HAD A ROUGH DAY AND

SHIT, AND THEY JUST, "DO YOU

CARE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY?"

[cheers and applause]

"WELL, YES, I DO."

"IS HEALTH CARE IMPORTANT TO

YOU?"

"WELL, YES, IT IS.

NO ,NIGGA, THIS MOTHERFUCKER

KNOW ME PERSONALLY; THIS AIN'T

NO REGULAR CAMPAIGN.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER IN MY FAMILY

LIFE."

I'VE BEEN CONFUSED THE WHOLE

GODDAMN ELECTION.

BEFORE BARACK CAME ALONG, I WAS

EXCITED ABOUT HILLARY.

I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE A GOOD

THING FOR US TO HAVE A WOMAN IN

THE OFFICE.

I FELT LIKE AT LEAST IF WE HAD A

WOMAN PRESIDENT, WE WOULDN'T

HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER

COUNTRIES WAS DOING, BECAUSE

BITCH GONNA BE ON ESPIONAGE ON

DAY ONE.

THAT'S GONNA BE HER FIRST SHIT.

"YOU KNOW I GOT CHINA'S

VOICEMAIL MESSAGES TODAY,

RIGHT?

I'MA GET THE MYSPACE PASSWORD BY

10:30.

GIVE ME A SECOND, BITCH.

THIS MY FIRST DAY."

BUT THEN HILLARY CAME AND

STARTED ACTING COCKY FOR NO

GODDAMN REASON, LIKE SHE

SHOULD'VE BEEN PRESIDENT

AL-GODDAMN-READY.

LIKE, "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO

GOOGLE ME.

I'VE BEEN RUNNING COUNTRIES

BEFORE THIS.

THIS"--

SHE CAN'T STAND BARACK'S

GOOD-TALKING ASS.

EVERY TIME THAT NIGGA SAY

SOMETHING CLEVER, SHE JUST--

[cheers and applause]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HILLARY WAS

THINKING, AND SHE THOUGHT SHE

WAS JUST GONNA INHERIT THE

MINORITY VOTE, LIKE SHE WAS JUST

GONNA GET THE NIGGA VOTE

OFF TOP.

WAIT A MINUTE, BITCH.

WE DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE THAT.

[cheers and applause]

Loading...