Kumail Nanjiani - Coney Island Cyclone

  • Season 4 , Ep 0407
  • 12/04/2009
  • Views: 37,267

Riding the Coney Island Cyclone is like paying a guy to punch you all over. (2:50)

I, uh, I moved to New York,like, a year ago.

And there are more crazy peoplein New York

than anywhere elsein the world.

I went to Coney Islandrecently,

and I, uh--(scattered applause)

yeah, it's a fun place--

I rode this roller coastercalled the Cyclone.

(audience hooting)

No, that was not my reaction.(laughter)

The single most terrifyingexperience of my life.

And I'm from (bleep) Pakistan.

(laughter)

I had, like, bruises everywhere.

I did.

It's like, I paid a guy, like,"Here's a bunch of money.

Just kind of punchme all over."

And then when I got done,when I got off,

I found out that the Cyclone

is the oldest functionalroller coaster in the world.

Wish I'd known that...

before I risked my life.

You know what yearthe Cyclone was made in?

The Cyclone was madein the year 1927.

They should changethe name of that ride

to "1927."

'Cause that fact is way scarierthan cyclones.

Or hurr-- 1927...

We didn't know anythingback then.

We thought cigaretteswere good for us.

To give you some perspective,this is completely true,

this is a fact,you can look it up--

sliced bread,

sliced bread came on the marketin 1928.

(laughter)

So if people are discussing--you know,

you've heard that phrase,and people are like,

"It's the greatest thingsince sliced bread."

They meanit's the greatest thing

in an unimaginably long time.(laughter)

This was made the yearbefore that.

(laughter)

The year before,

the standard fora really long time ago.

The whole thing is made of wood.

Wood.

You know,that indestructible substance

that NASA usesfor its space shuttles.

Wood.

Sometimes people get upsetat me in New York

when I talk about the Cyclone.

They're like, "That thingis a historical landmark."

Yeah, I'm not sayingwe should burn it down.

Although it would takejust one match.

(laughter)

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