Chris Porter - Controlled Substances

Rogan, Carlos, Porter, Sally, Norelli, Whitham, Black Season 1, Ep 6 08/24/2006 Views: 22,837

It isn't easy to drink without smoking cigarettes. (2:17)

Hell, yeah, drink up.

Drive home real fast.It'll be sweet.

See if the Lord loves you.

I quit drinking last year.

I'm back 'cause it's delicious.

And I didn't quit drinking

'cause I had a problemwith liquor.

I quit drinking 'cause I wantedto quit smoking cigarettes.

For a long time,I couldn't have a drink

without smoking a cigarette.

That's hard.

Some of you knowwhat I'm talking about.

It's hard to drinkand not smoke. It is.

If you don't knowwhat it's like,

It's like trying to poopand not pee.

It's hard.

( laughter )

I smoke pot.That's what I do, um...

I think pot's a safer drugthan alcohol, you know.

You drink too much liquor,you get in your car,

you drive away, you hitsomebody, you kill 'em.

You smoke too much weed,

odds are you're not gettingin your car.

That's production you don't wantto get involved in.

You got to get up.

Then you got to rememberwhat the hell you got up for.

Pot's the only drug I do,though.

Besides Xanax and mushrooms.

I love Xanax, man.

That stuff'slike the reset button.

If you're havinga ( bleep ) day, take a Xanax.

Next thing you know,it's tomorrow.

I don't have a jokeabout mushrooms,

just some advice.

Do 'em.

Serious, serious.

But when you're on 'em,stay off the phone.

The people calling youare not on mushrooms.

That is going to bea weird conversation.

'Cause they're goingto be, like,

"Hey, man, what are you doing?"

And you're going to be, like,

"Well, I was in the closet.Then you called."

They don't know you're tripping,so now they think you're gay.