Kurt Metzger - Two Towels

Kurt Metzger: White Precious Season 1, Ep 1 07/11/2014 Views: 2,042

Kurt Metzger doesn't have a job, so instead he watches other people have jobs on television. (1:13)

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What do you do?

I don't know.I don't have a job.

This is all I do.

Not that it's so great,

but it's just too late nowto not do this, so...


I used to livein Bushwick, Brooklyn,

with no job.

Had a mattresson the floor

and two towels--

one to jerk off inand one to use as a towel.

Yeah, it's a simple life.

And sometimes I'd come outof the shower,

realize too late I madethe wrong choice of towels.

Buy different colored towels,everyone.

That's what we learnfrom that.

But I watch people with jobson TV sometimes.

Do you watch all those kind ofreality job shows?

Like "Slippery Driving"and, uh...

And, uh, "Scary Fishing"?

Yeah, well, that's whythose shows are there,

'cause there's not enough jobs,

so that's, like,your fantasy now, is,

you have to watch other peoplehave a job

like it's pornography.

"Oh, man, he's just workingthe hell out of that job.

That's really--he's hitting that job hard."