Jay Larson - Intense Super Powers

  • Season 15 , Ep 15
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 8,330

Jay Larson and his friend argue about which super power gives the greatest rush. (2:12)

- Here's a question.

If you could have onesuperpower, what would it be?

- Flight.

- Flight.

Flight for the peoplethat are intense.

Not to fly.

Flight!

I'd like flight!

[audience laughing]

Just likethe Wright Brothers had.

[audience laughing]

The intensity's good.

Someone said invisible--That's a good one.

That's mine--That's what I love.

Anybody else?

- Super strength.

- Super strength?

Nice.

Some people just saystrength, and you're like,

"You couldhave that."

Super though--You know what you want.

[audience laughing]

Throw an automobileto impress a girl.

Yeah, that's right.

Anyone else?

- X-ray vision.

- X-ray vision for the perv--Nice.

[audience laughing]

I know whatyou mean.

There's always one pervout there, you know?

- How about a lotof money?

- How about we're not gonnaopen it up to a forum.

[audience laughing]

How about a lot of money,like if I had a....

three weirdest answersI've ever got.

Three weirdest answers.

This woman goes, "To makepeople go to the bathroom."

[audience laughing]

I mean, what do you-- you'reat school, your teacher's like,

"That's notright, Theresa!"

Just sit inyour desk.

And you're justlike-- phew!

Teacher's like--

[audience laughing]

[applause]

So weird.

Evil response.

[applause]

My buddy and I got into a fightbecause I said invisible,

and he said fly.

He didn't get as intense asflight, but he said fly.

And, like, he couldn't fathomhow I'd rather be invisible

than fly.

And he was like, "Bro!

"Do you know what kind ofrush you get flying

"through the air?"

Like he knows,you know?

[audience laughing]

And I was like, "Bro, youknow what kind of rush you get

"following a family home andwatching them eat dinner?"

That's a rush.

Just pinned up againsta kitchen wall like,

""Who would eat pizza anddrink orange juice?

"That's toomuch acid."

[audience laughing]

Every time they take a biteto eat you just knock the fork

out oftheir hand.

Go in the kids room,grab a Cabbage Patch,

bring it throughthe living room.

[audience laughing]

Kids are crying,the husband's like,

""What's goingon Mary Ann?"

She's like, "Idon't know, Jack,

"But someone keepstickling me."

[audience laughing]

That's a rush.

[cheers]

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