Slap-Ass

  • Season 3, Ep 303
  • 10/02/2013
  • Views: 88,003

A baseball team stages an intervention when a player goes too far with his congratulatory ass-slapping. (6:01)

GOOD VICTORY, GUYS!GOOD VICTORY!

HEY, HEY, COME ON, GOOD GAME!SLAP-ASS, MAN!

HEY, GOOD GAME!

GET SOME SLAP-ASS![laughs]

YEAH, DOG!YES, MAN!

GOOD GAME!SLAP-ASS!

[laughs]

HEY, WHO'S NEXT? WHO--

HEY, GARCIA!COME ON, MAN, GET YOU SOME.

COME ON, LET'S GETSOME SLAP-ASS OVER HERE.

- NO!

- WHAT? WHY--WHY NOT?

- I SAID NO, RAFI.

- HE'S HAD ENOUGH, RAFI.

WE'VE ALL HAD ENOUGH.

- ENOUGH OF WHAT?

- ENOUGH OF THE DAMNASS-SLAPPING, RAFI.

- GRACIAS.

- THE [bleep] SLAP-ASS?

- SI, YES. SI. - MM-HMM.

- [laughs]

GUYS, WHO [bleep] CARESHOW MUCH I SLAP ASS?

SO WHAT?I SLAP ASS!

NO BIG DEAL, MAN.I'M A [bleep] BASEBALL PLAYER.

THAT'S WHAT WE DO.WE [bleep] HIT HOME RUNS,

AND [bleep] SLAP ASS.COME ON, HUH?

- RAFI, THAT'S NOTHOW WE ALL SEE BASEBALL.

- EVERYBODY DOES IT.ALL THE TEAMS SLAP ASS, MAN.

YOU--YOU SLAP ASS, GARCIA!

- LIKE, A COUPLE OF TIMESA GAME.

- [laugh sheepishly]

WHAT?SO WHAT, MAN?

WHY THE [bleep]YOU COUNTING, MAN?

WHO KNOWS HOW MANY TIMESI SLAP ASS, OR HOW MANY--

- 427 TIMES.

- OKAY, TIME FLIES WHENYOU'RE HAVING FUN, MAN. WHAT--

- MY FAMILIES COMETO THESE GAMES, RAFI.

MY SON IS ALWAYS ASKING ME

WHY I'M LETTING THIS MANTOUCH MY BUTT SO MANY TIMES.

- AND YOU SAY "SLAP-ASS"EVERY TIME.

- EVERY TIME!

- OKAY, HOLD ON ONE SECOND.LET'S GO TO THE TIME-OUT.

I'M FROMTHE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC, OKAY?

ALL I KNOW,SINCE I WAS A LITTLE KID,

IS TO CATCH FLY BALLSAND TO SAY "SLAP-ASS"

EVERY SINGLE TIMEI [bleep] SLAP ASS!

- THIS IS THE MAJOR LEAGUES,RAFI.

WE ARE ALL FROMTHE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC.

NOBODY HERE HAS EVER HEARDANYONE SAY "SLAP-ASS"

BEFORE YOU.

- QUIT PLAYING, MAN.COME ON, GET YOUR SLAP-ASS.

all: RAFI!- RAFI, ENOUGH! OKAY?

- I'M...[sighs]

OKAY.YOU'RE RIGHT.

I KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT IT.

I HAVE A PROBLEM, OKAY?

I KNOW THAT.

AND I DECIDE TO STOPRIGHT NOW.

- BUENO.

- [sighs]

RIGHT AFTER I GETTHAT GARCIA SLAP-ASS.

COME ON.all: HEY, HEY, HEY!

- WHAT?- NO, RAFI!

- HEY, COME ON, EH?

I'M FINE, ALL RIGHT?FINE, I GET IT!

- [sighs]

[all struggling]- GET UP OUT OF HERE!

- COME ON!- GET OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM!

YOU GET OUTOF THE LOCKER ROOM!

- YOU'RE THE ONLY SLAP-ASSTHAT MATTERS, GARCIA!

- YOU ARE NOTGETTING A SLAP-ASS!

- HEY, GARCIA, MAN,CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

- OH.- HOLD UP.

- HEY, RAFI, WHAT'S UP?

- OH, MAN, I JUST TALKEDTO THE MANAGER, MAN.

HE SAYS HE'S GOINGTO TRADE ME, MAN.

I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL, YOU KNOW?I GOT KIDS, TOO, RIGHT?

- YEAH, WELL, WE ALL TOLD YOUWHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN

IF YOU--- HEY...

[heavy breathing]

I REALLY COULD USETHAT ONE SLAP-ASS, MAN.

- RAFI.- COME ON, MAN.

JUST ONE SLAP-ASS, YOU KNOW?JUST ONE--

JUST FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE,YOU KNOW?

GET ME BACK ON MY FEET.I REALLY--

JUST ONE FOR THE ROAD, MAN.I COULD REALLY USE IT.

[heavy breathing]

OKAY, OKAY.

GOOD GAME! SLAP-ASS![loud smack]

[relieved sigh]

- I GOT TO GET HOMETO MY KIDS.

- OKAY.

OH.GARCIA, MAN.

I'LL SUCK YOUR [bleep] IF YOULET ME SLAP YOUR ASS AGAIN.

- NO!- [groans]

GARCIA,I'LL SUCK YOUR [bleep].

[groaning]

OHH, SLAP-ASS, SLAP-ASS,SLAP-ASS, SLAP-ASS, SLAP-ASS,

SLAP-ASS, SLAP-ASS.

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