Uncensored - Up Next Semifinals - Boston

Up Next Season 1, Ep 0101 01/11/2011 Views: 1,639

Jonah Ray sits down with the Up Next regional winners, Jenny Zigrino, Nimesh Patel and Joe Pera. (3:45)

[music playing]

ANNOUNCER: Give itup for Jonah Ray.


JONAH RAY: You're goingto see ten comics tonight,

that are represented bydifferent Comedy Central,

certified clubsaround this region.

And two comicsfrom tonight's show

will be selected by our judgesto appear at the New York

Comedy Festival,on Comedy Central's

Comics to Watch annual show.

Which reminds me go Boston team.

-That's why I love Boston,because you guys are a drinking

town You guys are drunkright now, probably right?


All right.

-I don't know why I justdid jazz hands, right there.


Ha.That's how I have sex, actually.

You'll see.

-That guy was called DickTrickle for 70 years,

that dude's the bravestguy in the world.

-White people, right?

-I don't need a man.

I just need a dad.

-Girl, girl, girl, girl, girl.

-You win ladies, OK.

You win.

You fooled us.

-(SINGING) Pictures of lastnight, ended up online.

I'm screwed.

-Why you kicking yourself?

Why you kicking yourself?

Why you kicking yourself?

-Here's how I feel about RexRyan and the New York Jets.


-Because it was sucha crazy, awesome show,

there are not onlytwo winners, there

are going to bethree winners tonight

that are going togo to New York.

Jenny Zigrino, NimeshPatel, and Joe Pera.

You are one of thewinners tonight

in the regional competition.

-I'm grateful thatI get to be a comic

to watch, and perform again.

If nothing comes ofit, this came of it.

Now I can just keep doing,what I've been doing,

and I'll get better.

And I'll just getfunny enough where

you can't deny what I'm doing.

The girl I'm datingis white, she's white.

I only talk about herrace, because I'm racist.

I'm the good kind of racist.

Like, whenever I see anIndian girl with a white dude,

I'm like, I'm gonnatell your mother.

But whenever I see an Indiandude with a white woman,

I'm like, fight thatstruggle my man.


-Uh, when I was 16,I first did comedy.

I took a class.

So I had a lot ofdreams when I was 16.

I wanted to be in the mafia,because I loved Al Pacino.

And then I wanted tobe a stand up comedian,

because at two in the morning,I saw Dane Cook's first special.

And I was like, I can do that.


Took the class.

I headlined my class.


-At the Radisson Hotel inBloomington, Minnesota.


-After being a female comedian,I have to be around guy comics

all the time.

And all they like to talk aboutis how bad they are at sex.

They're always like, oh mygod, I'm so bad at this.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I thought it was an elbow.

But I think I'm pretty goodat it, and for two reasons.

One is that I have a self esteemhigh enough to where I have

confidence in myabilities, and two,

I have self esteemlow enough where I'll

do whatever you wantso you won't leave me.

-Well congratulations Joe.

Did you have a feelingthat you might win tonight?


I just wanted to do good.

-Well you did good.

-Last summer, I wasemployed as an intern.

And I learned thatbeing an intern,

is a lot like beinga foster child.

Because they care about yourdevelopment, but not really.

-You gonna eat that?

That pickle?

-No thanks.

-You want to eat it Ladyand the Tramp style?

We take the same piece offood, I start at one end,

and you, you're onthe other, and we just

keep on chomping untilwe finish the pickle.

-Are you making this up?

-Are you making this up?

-You're crazy, Jonah Ray.


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