Ari Shaffir - Annoying People

Ari Shaffir: Passive Aggressive Season 1, Ep 1 03/13/2015 Views: 3,573

Ari Shaffir wishes that he could just walk away from people who waste his time. (1:52)

Have you ever done this: haveyou ever

gotten into a conversationwith somebody

and as soon as youstart talking to them,

like as soon as you starttalking, you realize,

oh, I don't want totalk to you at all?

Like, no part of mewants this conversation.

But what do youdo at that point?

Like, what do you dowhen that happens?

AUDIENCE: Walk away.

-Walk away.

You are a liar.

You'd like to be that guy.

You'd love to be that guy,but you're not that guy.

Nobody's that guy, dude.

of a sociopath?

You're like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

You don't do that.

You just take it.

That's what we all do.

It [bleep] sucks.

You can't go anywhere,you can't do anything.

All you can do is go like,look around the room,

and hopefully, they getthat cue, and they never do.

Most people would get that.

If I'm talking to you, andI'm like this the whole time,

You'll be like, oh, Ican see you're busy.

Because you'rehuman [bleep] being.

It's annoying peoplenever read those cues.

It's like, where you looking?Why are you looking away?

What's wrong with you?

What's happening?

Look at me.

It's horrible.

I should juststart walking away.

That would be the bestthing to do, right?

You can't do it, butthat would be ideal.

I'm done letting people I hatechoose how I live my life.

And I want out ofthat whole mess.

I do it so much.

And with annoying people,it's the same thing.

You're just stuck.

They're like, hey,is that your time?

I'm going to rape it now.

No, no, no, don't rape my time.

My time's like,Ari, don't leave me.

Sorry, dude, you'regetting raped by her.

Nothing I can do.

You can't even stop.

I always know I'm about toget in the conversation,

but I can't turn it around.

I feel like, how are you?

I'm like, good.

How are you.

[bleep] Why'd I do that?

All right, stop the clock.

10 minutes, let's go.