Exclusive - Kurt Metzger - Interview with Adam Carolla

New York Comedy Festival Season 1, Ep 1 01/11/2011 Views: 8,954

Watch out Carrot Top and Gallagher, Adam Carolla is the new sheriff in town and he's got a laptop. (3:31)


I'm Kurt Metzger withComedy Central's Jokes.com,

and I'm here interviewingAdam Corolla at Caroline's

on Broadway after his big show.

Dude, before I came tothis-- I used to date

this girl who wasa huge fan of you.

And she was like,you've got to see this.

He's putting his bankstatements through the years

on a projector.

Nobody does that.

And you were doing it.


-Well, listen, when youdon't have material,

you have to go to prop.

So there's Carrot Top,there's Gallagher,

and now there's anew sheriff in town.

And he's got a laptop.

-People talk aboutbeing fearless.

I've literally never seena comic put their earning

statements through theyears in front of the crowd.

-Well, everybodyin show business

is freaked out that if peoplefind out that they made a buck,

they're not going to thinkthey're funny anymore.

I'm sure Seinfeld is a rich guy.

I still think he's funny.

I'm not like, hey man, you meanhe's not making $11 an hour

and eating off a lunch truck?

[bleep] that guy.

You're not one of us anymore.

I thought he was one ofthose blue collar Jews.

That's why I'm going towatch that other comedian.

He can't even affordsleeves he's so poor.

What's his name,Ernie the Cable Guy?


Ernie the Cable Guy.

-Yeah, that guy is funny, man.

That guy drives apickup truck, man.

He's one of us.

He don't make no money,and that's why he's funny.

-I also want to talkabout your book.

Because In 50 Years,We'll All Be Chicks,

it's a very intriguingslash disturbing title to me

on the order ofthe 2012 prophecy.

So what do you mean by that?

-Well, I just thought thatmen and women were basically--

I was sort of looking at asa giant X. And in the '50s,

we were at thebottom of one side

and the ladieswere at the other.

And before you knowit, we're creeping up,

and now we're all just--

-Now we say we'repregnant, that kind of--

-We're pregnant.

-I get it.

I'm on board with this.

-We're all-- yeah.

We've got to be in the room.

We've got to cut the cord.

We've got to go to Lamaze class.

We've got to puta pillow under us

and walk around for nine months.

And we're alljust-- essentially,

whatever happened with ChazBono is slowly happening.

Remember the littlecute blonde girl

that was on Sonny and Cher?

-It was a real change.


That's where we're--

-She really wentthrough with it.

-We're crossing.

We're making our wayup the bottom of the X

to the intersection,and then we're crossing.

And we don't evenpretend anymore.

Back in the day, thecar would break down,

and your dad wouldgo, pop the hood.

Pop the hood.

And then he would popthe hood, and then

he'd look at the engine,and he'd do nothing.

He'd just smoke.

He'd put his cigarette downon top of the air filter.

-My dad literally did that.

-Did that for 20 minutes.

And then at acertain point, he'd

lean over and tellyour mom, try it now.

Meanwhile, he's not Kreskin.

He didn't do anything.

But the point is, now yourcar stops and you're like,

who do I sue?

Call AAA.

I'm scared.

Lock the doors.

Hit the OnStar button.

I'm freaked out.

Five years ago,Dr. Drew said to me

he got a flat tire,so he had to call AAA.

And I was like, wheredid you break down?

And he's like, I was at home.

And I was like, at home?

And he's like, yeah, Iwalked out to the car

and the tire was flat.

I was like, then you called AAA?


That's what they do.

I said, not in your garage.

-Did he ask them totow him home, too?


Could you tow meto the bathroom?

-The book is called In 50Years, We'll All Be Chicks.

I started reading some of it.

Can I take this one?-Yeah, go ahead.

-That's awesome.

-It'll just be $19.

-I'm Kurt Metzger withComedy Central's Jokes.com.

Check it out.