Nick Swardson - Alien Restaurants & Sleeping In

Season 1 , Ep 103 11/06/10 Views: 59,447

Nick Swardson can't figure out the target demographic for a spaced-themed restaurant or why it's a good thing to get up early. (2:40)

- WELCOME BACKTO THE BENSON INTERRUPTION...

WHERE I'M GONNA KEEPINTERRUPTING NICK SWARDSON.

YEAH, INTERRUPTIONIN PROGRESS.

- THIS IS MY NEW FASCINATION

ARE ALIEN-THEMED RESTAURANTS.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

I'M FROM THE MIDWEST,AND THEY HAVE A THING CALLED

ALIEN--SPACE ALIENS.

AND IT'S A CHAIN RESTAURANT.

- CALLED "SPACE ALIENS"?- YEAH.

BUT THEN THERE'S ALSO--- ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T--

- I SWEAR TO GOD, DAWG!

AND THERE'S ONE IN NEW YORK.

AND IT'S ALL, LIKE,SPACE ALIENS...

BUT LIKE, THEIR WHOLE MENUIS, LIKE, "ORBIT SOUP."

LIKE, IT'S NOT EVEN--

I DON'T KNOWWHO THIS RESTAURANT IS FOR,

AND WHO EATS--IT'S LIKE--

- I'LL HAVE THE LUNAR SALAD,PLEASE.

- IT'S SO STUPIDFAKE SPACE [bleep].

JUST LIKE, CAN I HAVETHE SOLAR FINGERS?

IT'S LIKE, NO,THEY'RE CHICKEN FINGERS.

LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHO'S THAT RESTAURANT--

WHO WANTS TO EAT IN SPACETHAT BAD?

THEY'RE JUST SORT OF LIVINGTHIS DELUSIONAL, LIKE...

"I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GOTO MARS,

BUT I CAN'T DO IT HERE.

I CAN HAVE SPACE SOUP,FOLLOWED BY SATURN SANDWICH."

OR I DON'T KNOW.

- DO YOU HAVE SATURN RINGS?"NO, BUT WE HAVE ONION RINGS."

LIKE THE ONE OPPORTUNITYTHAT DOES MAKE SENSE...

THEY TOTALLY BLOW IT.

THEY JUST NAME THOSEONION RINGS.

EVERYTHING ELSE IS, LIKE,OUTER SPACE STEAK.

[laughs]

- MASHED PLUTODOS.

REALLY?

[laughter]

IT'S SO SWEATY AND AWFUL.

YOU GUYS LIKE SLEEPING?

[cheers and applause]

I ALWAYS GET, LIKE,IN TROUBLE.

DO YOU GUYS GET YELLED ATFOR SLEEPING?

MY MOM'S ALWAYS, LIKE,"DON'T SLEEP IN.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

I GOT UP EARLY, AND I WENTTO THE STORE."

IT'S LIKE, "REALLY?WHILE YOU WERE AT THE STORE,

"I WAS [bleep] DREAMING,OKAY?

"SO I WAS DOINGWHATEVER I WANTED.

"I WAS [...] MY OWN [bleep]AT THE SUPER BOWL.

"OH, DID YOU DO THATAT THE STORE?

"I DON'T THINK YOU DID.

WELCOME TO MY DREAM!"

- WHAT WOULD BE ANOTHER GREATTHING TO DO AT THE SUPER BOWL?

'CAUSE LET'S SAY WE CAN'T USE"[...] MY OWN [bleep]."

[laughter]

IS THERE A CLEANER THINGTHAT PEOPLE WOULD APPRECIATE

BEING ABLE TO DOAT THE SUPER BOWL?

- I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWLHIGH-FIVING MY OWN [bleep].

[laughter]

- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,NICK SWARDSON!

- THANK YOU.[cheers and applause]

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