Kyle Kinane - Getting Pulled Over

  • Season 4 , Ep 0403
  • 10/30/2009
  • Views: 6,270

Kyle Kinane does a quick impression of what it looks like to get pulled over while riding a bicycle. (3:20)

from a police officerfor going through a stop sign...

on my bicycle.

A police officerwith a badge and a gun

and a whole car...pulled me over on my bicycle

for going through a stop sign.

Um, I'd like to doa quick impersonation

of the first 25 minutesto a half hour

of what it looks likegetting pulled over

by a cop on your bicycle.

Here's that.

(laughter)

(laughter)

I-I pulled up-- you don'tpull over on a bicycle.

You just stop pedaling.

'Cause you're already overto the side of the road.

The, uh...

the officer approachedmy vehicle,

and, uh, so, best part--

first thing out of his mouth,he goes,

"What's the hurry?"

Are you, are you kidding me?

You can't ask that question.

I'm on a bike;this is a beach cruiser.

There's no...

But I could tell he was tryingto make detective,

so I had to sitthrough more questions.

He was like, "You didn't see me?

I was following youfor, like, six blocks."

"No... I didn't see you,

"probably 'cause I don't haveany rearview mirrors.

"'Cause I'mon a goddamn bicycle.

"How did you get your job?

"How did you-- did you justwake up one day, like,

"'I got a dark blue shirt.

Why don't we give it a shot?'"

Through some strange seriesof events,

I have a woman in my life.

She obviously makes bad choices.

Uh, she knows how I feel about,about my body.

I know, I know what's going on.

I mean, I got, I got goodshoulders, I got this beard.

The rest of this isa real bag of garbage.

Real pile of trash going onfor the rest of it,

and, uh, she, uh, she caught me

coming out of the showerone day.

I was glistening--best I'll look all day--

uh, and she caught mecoming out

and she said-- to make me feelbetter, she said,

"You look like a Greek god."

That's what she said'cause she loves me.

"You look like a Greek god."

And without even thinking,I just shot back,

"You don't know (bleep)about mythology."

Because that's how I treatpeople that try

to get close to me.

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