Rich Vos - Hotels

Season 12 , Ep 12 02/14/08 Views: 7,102

Rich fixes the coffee pot. (2:18)

- GOOD. BALTIMORE STINKS.- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I WAS AT A HOTEL IN BALTIMORE.

PEOPLE THAT WORKBEHIND THE COUNTERS IN HOTELS

HAVE TO BE THE DUMBEST PEOPLEON THE PLANET. THEY REALLY ARE.

THOSE ARE THE PEOPLEWHITE CASTLE SAID, "NAH."

THEY'RE THE DUMBEST PEOPLETHAT WORK THERE.

I'M AT A HOTEL IN BALTIMOREAND MY COFFEEPOT DOESN'T WORK.

SO I GO DOWN TO THE FRONT DESK.I GO TO THE GUY,

"MY COFFEEPOT DOESN'T WORK.HE SAID, "DID YOU PLUG IT IN?

REALLY? I THOUGHT THAT CORDWAS A PULL START.

[LAUGHTER]

THE CONVERSATION SHOULD'VE BEEN,"MY COFFEEPOT DOESN'T WORK."

AND HE SAYS, "OKAY,I'LL SEND YA ANOTHER ONE."

THAT SHOULD'VE BEENTHE CONVERSATION. THEN HE SAYS,

"IT'S NOT DRIPPING?" "ONE OFTHE REASONS IT'S NOT WORKIN'."

HE SAID,"WHAT DO YOU THINK IS WRONG?"

"YOU DIDN'T GRADUATEHIGH SCHOOL."

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]- WHAT DO I THINK IS WRONG?

WELL, WHEN I TOOKTHE BACK PANEL OFF,

I NOTICED THE FAN BELTBY THE PERCOLATOR WAS SNAPPED.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU JACKASS.

I WAS AT A HOTEL IN CLEVELAND--IN CLEVELAND--

WE LOCKED OUR KEYS IN THE ROOM.SO I GO DOWN TO THE FRONT DESK

I GO, "WE LOCKED OUR KEYSIN THE ROOM." AND SHE SAID,

- "YOUR CAR KEYS?"- [LAUGHTER]

"YEAH. WE'RE TELLIN' EVERYBODY."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WHEN YOU CALL THE FRONT DESKFROM YOUR HOTEL ROOM THEY KNOW

THEY KNOW WHAT ROOMYOU'RE CALLING FROM, RIGHT,'CAUSE IT LIGHTS UP.

THE NEXT MORNING, CLEVELAND,I CALLED THE FRONT DESK. I GO,

"HOW DO YOU GET TO THE AIRPORT?"AND SHE SAID, "FROM WHERE?"

[LAUGHTER]

"A SMALL VILLAGE IN ISTANBUL."

"FROM WHERE?"

"RIGHT ABOVE YOU, STUPID.

"TOUCH THE TOP OF YOUR HEADAND GO UP EIGHT FEET.

"THEN GO UP 10 MORE STORIESAND HEAVE YOURSELF OFF THE ROOF.

"BUT FIRST CALL YOUR BROTHERAND TELL 'EM

I FIXED THE COFFEEPOT, OKAY?"

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