Greg Behrendt - Just Not That Into You

Behrendt, Daniels, Yard, Joyce, Mac, Nystrom, Schaal Season 1, Ep 2 07/27/2006 Views: 17,909

Greg Behrendt makes a mix tape for a girl to get her to love him back. (2:06)

that well yet.

( laughter, Behrendt whoops )

Hi. I'm Greg Behrendt.

Uh, nice to see you.

I am a stand-up comedian.

Uh, I've been a stand-upcomedian for 17 years.

I'm-I'm proud of that.

Uh, I am also the authorof a book

that you may have seenon Oprah Winfrey Show called

A Million Little Pieces. Um...

( laughter )

I think I wrote that.

Didn't I write that?

I... I know I got drunk once,and there was a cop.

At least that'swhat I rememoir.

Right off the top with a pun.

I don't care, I'll use a pun.

I'll-I'll do it.

I'm not afraid.

I, uh, uh... I am the, uh,in fact, the coauthor

of a book called He's Just Not That into You.

( cheering and applause )

The thing about the book,

He's Just Not That into You, um, is that, you know,

it's geared towards women, butthat same stuff happens to men.

It's just thatif you wrote a book called

She's Just Not That into You, it'll sell eight copies.

You know, dudes--we don't process like that.

You know, you break up with us,we get drunk,

and then stand on your lawn,and then a cop comes.

And we're, like,"Oh, this is over.

"I get it. Okay, it's over.( laughter )

Got you."

But we fall in love with womenthat don't give it back.

It happened to me.

( bleep ). Oh, man,I met this girl,

and I was, like, "Oh!" You know?

I just... You know, again,just, "Oh, I'm in love,

I'm into you, I love you."You know?

And she's, like, "I'm...I don't like you that much."

And I'm, like,"But I really like you."

And she's, like, "But I reallydon't like you that much."

And I'm ( bleep )."Well, then I'm gonna have

to make you a mix tape."

( laughter )

Because, yeah, that's howyou do it, with a mix.

You know what I mean?

When you unleashthe mix upon her, you know,

she will understand the beautyof who you are as a human being.

And then she will meltand be in your bedroom soon.

That's the plan with the mix.( laughter )

And not to date myselftoo much, man,

but when I... back in the day,I ( bleep ).

It was actually... It wasn'tjust drop and drag, bro.

( bleep ).Mix with cassette.

Two ( bleep ) cassette decksgoing like this.

You know, you got the cassettegoing. Yeah.

Tape to tape.

You know,maybe even a turntable.

You got a turntable going,you know.

And, uh, "No, dude,don't bump it! ( bleep ).

Don't bump. ( bleep ).Oh, click, click, man."

Waiting for the song to..."Oh, they ended too soon."

Staying up all night.

Cassette box art a must.

( laughter )