Tokyo, of course, won the right
to host the nextSummer Olympics,
narrowly beating out other
qualified hosts for 2020.In preparation
for the influxof foreign visitors to Tokyo
for the 2020 games,the JSEIA,
the agency that regulatesJapan's fancy robot (bleep),
came up with a guideto help tourists interpret
their electronic space toiletswith diagrams
for what each button does.
This actually is a thingthat they need to do.
I was in Japan for my honeymoon,
and sometimes you do getthe pictures on the buttons,
and other times, it's just allJapanese characters,
and you're just like...
And you don't know.
Like, now I'm filled with water,now the seat's lifting,
now it's heating up, nowit's launching me into space.
-(laughter) -This does make itless confusing.
So, comedians, some of thesedon't seem any more helpful, but
please pick a symbol and tell uswhat it actually means. Gibson.
lower right swirly.
Yeah. That's for whenyou don't know you're pregnant
-but then you poop out a baby.-(laughter)
-(Hardwick mumbles)-You know when you're like,
"Oops, I'm pregnant, uh-oh"?
-Bryan Safi. -I likedthe second one on the top.
That's exactly...For when you want a woman
to sit on you,and also, you're an Ares.
-All right, points. Very good.-So...
-Judah.-Uh, the bottom row,
the second one from the right
looks like, uh...
you know, instr... you know,instructions for how to, like,
finish a bowel movementduring a tornado.
-All right, points. Yeah.-(laughter)
It's very important.
Ah, this one's an F-5.
This one I can't figure out.
This one feels sort of farty,like this seems like hot air.
This is pretty self-explanatory.
This is the button that allowsTrump to pee on your tits.
-(laughter, groans, applause)-Uh...
That's what... I thinkthat's what that says.