Kyle Kinane - Amount of Money

  • Season 2
  • 03/08/2011
  • Views: 34,831

Kyle Kinane does not need a new electric guitar -- he needs to go to the dentist. (1:32)

BEFORE YOU GET EXCITED,IT'S NOT A LOT OF MONEY.

I CAN--I CAN CONFIDENTLYPUT A DOWN PAYMENT

ON, LIKE,AN '09 CAMRY RIGHT NOW.

CLOTH SEATS.

I MEAN, AS FAR AS THE PAYMENTS,WHO KNOWS.

I DON'T KNOW,THAT THING'S GONNA GET

REPOSSESSED BY DECEMBER,PROBABLY.

BUT FOR A GOOD COUPLE SEASONS,I CAN ROLL BIG.

I HAVE THE AMOUNT OF MONEYANY 34-YEAR-OLD SHOULD HAVE

IF THEY APPLIED THEMSELVESAT THEIR JOB

AS AN ASSISTANT MANAGERAT FOOTLOCKER

FOR THE PAST 14 YEARS.

BUT I GOT IT FROM COMEDY,SO I GOT IT

FROM DOING SOMETHING I LIKE SOI DON'T HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY

THAT COMES ALONGWITH THAT MONEY.

LIKE, I SEE THAT MONEY,AND I JUST, LIKE--

I SEE MY BANK STATEMENT,AND I'M, LIKE,

"OH, WELL, YOU KNOWWHAT YOU NEED, KYLE?

"YOU NEED A BRAND-NEWELECTRIC GUITAR.

THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED."

NO, WHAT I NEEDIS TO GO TO THE DENTIST

'CAUSE I CAN'T BREATHEIN COLD AIR

WITHOUT WINCING LIKE I TRIED(bleep) A LIGHT SOCKET.

THAT'S WHAT I NEED.

I NEED TO BE ABLETO PIECE OF CANDY

WITHOUT HAVING TO MOVE IT BACKAND FORTH IN MY MOUTH

LIKE A GAME OF LABYRINTH SOIT DOESN'T HIT THE MAGIC TOOTH

THAT MAKES ME FORGETMY MIDDLE NAME FOR TWO HOURS.

THAT'S WHAT I NEED.

SO WHY DON'T YOU GET OFFTHE B.C. RICH WEB SITE

'CAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO FINDTHE GUITAR C.C. DEVILLE PLAYED

IN "TALK DIRTY TO ME."

WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER TO1-800-DENTIST

AND GET YOUR FACE FIXED?

(laughter)

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