Sheng Wang - Grow a Pair

  • Season 15 , Ep 4
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 26,491

Testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. (1:48)

A FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME--UH--THE OTHER DAY--

MY FRIEND SAID--HE SAID TO ME,

"HEY, YOU NEEDTO GROW A PAIR."

"GROW A PAIR, BRO."

IT'S WHEN SOMEONECALLS YOU "WEAK,"

BUT THEY ASSOCIATE ITWITH A LACK OF TESTICLES,

WHICH IS WEIRD,BECAUSE TESTICLES ARE LIKE

THE MOST SENSITIVETHINGS IN THE WORLD.

[audience laughter]

IF YOU SUDDENLYJUST GREW A PAIR,

YOU WOULD BEA LOT MORE VULNERABLE.

[audience laughter]

[applause]

IF YOU...

IF YOU WANNA BE TOUGH,YOU SHOULD LOSE A PAIR.

[audience laughter]

IF YOU WANNA BE REAL TOUGH,YOU SHOULD GROW A VAGINA.

[audience laughter]

[cheers and applause]

THOSE THINGS CANTAKE A POUNDIN'.

[audience laughter]

[cheers and applause]

THIS IS FUN,THIS IS FUN.

[cheers]

I'M DOIN' GOOD, I'M DOINGGOOD, YA'LL-- DOIN' GOOD.

COMEDY'S TREATING ME WELL--I HAD A LITTLE TIME OFF.

I GAVE MYSELF A LITTLEVACATION LAST YEAR.

FOUND MYSELF--I FOUND MYSELF IN ASIA,

A COUPLEDIFFERENT COUNTRIES.

I WAS, UH--ONE AFTERNOON,

I WAS EATING A PORK BUNBY A RIVER IN KYOTO.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

I TOOK A BITE OUT OFTHIS SUCCULENT PORK-BUN.

SUPER DELICIOUS.

OUT OF NO WHERE,A WILD HAWK SWOOPED DOWN

AND STOLE THE PORK BUNFROM RIGHT OUT OF MY HAND.

I WAS SO FREAKED OUT,

I WAS LIKE,"OH, MY GOD--

"I DID NOT KNOW THE MEXICANFLAG WOULD DO A REMIX."

[audience laughter]

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