I love southern food.
Chicken and waffles.
Fried chicken and waffles.
What should we servewith the fried chicken?
No, something elegant.
Like a waffle
or a gyro
I know it's lunch, but I wantbreakfast and diabetes,
so I'll have the chickenand waffles and a shake.
Of course, you can'ttalk about Southern food
without bringing up grits,right? Grits, it's like
someone was like,
"Hey, if you love the tasteof biscuits and gravy
"but without the tasteof biscuits and gravy,
then you'll loveour man-made wet sand."
I want to like grits.I do.
I order them,and I'm like,
"Are these undercookedor overcooked?"
No wonder you came upwith moonshine.
Southerners are always like,"Y'all are eating that wrong.
"You've got to add a poundof cheese and a pound of sugar
and 30 candy canes."
That's what I loveabout the South.
They don't even try and hide thefact they're eating unhealthy.
In a restaurant, you're like,"I guess I'll order
"the bucket of lard
and the salt stick."
"Y'all want that deep-fried?"
"You want us to shoot at youwhile you eat it?"
"Is that extra?"