Carol Leifer - Times Square

CC Presents: Carol Leifer Season 7, Ep 7 03/20/2003 Views: 751

It used to be embarrassing to live in Times Square. (1:40)

THRILLING THIS IS TONIGHT.

I MEAN, TO HAVE MY OWN SPECIAL.

ACTUALLY THE LAST FEW YEARS,

I'VE BEEN WRITING FOR

TELEVISION, SO I'VE STAYED AWAY

FROM STANDUP.

BUT IT'S SO GREAT TO BE BACK.

AND ACTUALLY, TONIGHT, I HAVE

NOT DONE A STAND-UP SPECIAL,

IN, IT'S GOTTA BE 10 YEARS.

YEAH.

SO IT'S SO GREAT TO BE HERE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YEAH, TEN YEARS.

TIME FLIES THOUGH, HUH?

BUT I FEEL YOUNG AND DO YOU KNOW

I STAY FEELING YOUNG, LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN?

I'LL SHARE MY SECRET WITH YOU.

I LIVE IN A SENIOR CITIZEN

RETIREMENT COMMUNITY.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

YEAH.

GUESS WHO'S GETTIN' ALL

THE LOOKS AT THE POOL?

(LAUGHTER)

AND HERE WE ARE IN BEAUTIFUL

TIMES SQUARE.

(APPLAUSE)

YEAH?

(CHEERS)

YEAH, THEY HAVE CLEANED IT UP.

I HAVE NOTICED THAT BECAUSE

MY FIRST APARTMENT WAS HERE

YEARS AGO.

ON, MY GOD, IT WAS SO

EMBARRASSING THE FIRST TIME

I HAD TO GIVE MY MOM DIRECTIONS

TO MY APARTMENT.

OKAY, NOW WHEN YOU SEE THE

PUSSYCAT THEATER WHERE THEY'RE

PLAYING LOVE WAD MAKE A LEFT.

(LAUGHTER)

NOW IF YOU SEE THE HOOKER

WITH A LIMP YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

NEW YORK CITY.

THE ONLY CITY WHERE PEOPLE CALL

IN AND MAKE RADIO REQUESTS LIKE,

"YEAH, THIS IS FOR TINA.

I'M SORRY I STABBED YOU."

(LAUGHTER)