Kyle Kinane - Drinking in the Shower

Kyle Kinane: "I Liked His Old Stuff Better" Season 1, Ep 101 01/23/2015 Views: 17,547

Kyle Kinane does not understand why drinking in the shower is socially unacceptable. (1:55)

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- No, I fell--back in December, I fell.

I fell real bad as I was, uh--

I was at home.I fell in the shower.

I was drunk.I was drinking in the shower.

I drink in my shower.

I drink in my shower,

not like I need to drink so muchthat it carries over.

I wait for the shower.

I choose to drink in the shower

because everybody deservesa spa day in this world, and--

[crowd cheers]

I'm glad you agree with me.

Why is it perfectly acceptable,

oh, drive out somewhereand go to a spa,

and if you lay downin their establishment

with rose petals and champagne,that's fine?

But I do it verticallyin my own home

with a six-pack on the backof the toilet for easy reaching,

I'm some sort of scumbagall of a sudden?

It's the one roomyou can be alone and naked

and have a cocktail in.

Every other room in your househas a drink appointed to it.

What are you--are you on the porch?

Have a mint julepon the porch.

Oh, what,are you in your living room?

Have a sophisticated scotchor a snifter of brandy.

What, are you in the garage,

tinkering aroundwith your motorcycle?

Have a beer in the garage.

But, oh, I'm gonna havesomething in the bathroom, like,

you should probably goto meetings.

No, man, I don't need to go.

I set it up.I have an event for myself.

I have the drinkson the back of the toilet.

Don't bring them in therewith you.

You don't need them that close.

I have a waterproof Bluetoothspeaker for the shower shelf.

I put the iPod on shufflein the other room,

and I let Steve Jobs DJ my moodfrom beyond the grave.

And he gets it right!

All right, DJ Steve.

That's the 160-gig model,35,000 songs.

I got about nine ex-roommates'libraries on there.

What can you do for me?

Five Motorhead tunes,then three Lionel Richie jams.

Shit.