Hari Kondabolu - Female President

  • Season 3, Ep 1
  • 07/20/2012
  • Views: 23,228

Sometimes Hari Kondabolu wakes up with his judgment impaired. (2:47)

I WAS DOING A SHOWIN DENMARK LAST YEAR.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

UM, IT DIDN'T GOPARTICULARLY WELL.

NOT REALLY THE TARGETDEMOGRAPHIC FOR THIS CAREER,

BUT I GOT HECKLED IN A WAYI'VE NEVER BEEN HECKLED BEFORE.

A MAN GOT UPIN THE MIDDLE OF MY SHOW,

AND HE INTERRUPTED,AND HE SAID,

"HEY!

GO BACK TO AMERICA."

WOW.

(laughter)

IT'S AMAZING,IT'S AMAZING

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TOLD TO GOBACK TO SO MANY COUNTRIES

AND UH...

(laughter)

NEVER TO AMERICA.

UH, I'VE BEEN TOLD IRAQ,AFGHANISTAN, LIBYA,

WHATEVER COUNTRYWE'RE BOMBING...

I'M TOLD TO GO BACK THERE

AT PERHAPS THE LEASTOPPORTUNE TIME TO GO BACK.

I LIKE TRAVELINGINTERNATIONALLY,

BUT I DON'T LIKETHE BUREAUCRACY,

LONG LINES OF CUSTOMSAND IMMIGRATION.

APPARENTLY,AUSTRALIA IS THE WORST

BECAUSE IT'S SO FAR AWAYFROM THE REST OF THE WORLD

THAT THEY'RE REALLY STRICTABOUT YOU NOT BRINGING IN

PLANTS OR FRUITINTO THEIR COUNTRY

BECAUSE THEY'RE WORRIED IFFOREIGN BODIES ENTER AUSTRALIA,

THEY'LL KILL PEOPLEAND DESTROY THE ENVIRONMENT,

WHICH ISA VERY FAIR POINT,

BECAUSE IF YOU ASKTHE ABORIGINES,

THEY WOULD TELL YOU THATSOMETIMES FOREIGN BODIES...

ENTER AUSTRALIA,KILL PEOPLE,

DESTROY THE ENVIRONMENT.

FOR THOSE OF YOUWHO DIDN'T KNOW,

THE THEME OF MY SET TONIGHTWILL BE COLONIALISM...

(laughter and cheers)

WHICH IS WHY I WILL BE SPEAKINGONLY IN ENGLISH.

(laughter)

WE'VE NEVER HAD A FEMALEPRESIDENT IN THIS COUNTRY,

WHICHI FIND STUNNING.

IT'S AMAZING THAT WE'VE NEVERHAD A FEMALE PRESIDENT,

AND A BIG PART OF THAT IS THATWE HAVE MEN IN THIS COUNTRY

THAT ARE SO SEXISTTHAT THEY SAY THINGS LIKE,

"WE CAN'T HAVEA WOMAN PRESIDENT

BECAUSE YOU KNOWWHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN

IF WE ELECT A WOMAN, RIGHT?

LIKE, ONCE A MONTHSHE'S GONNA HAVE A PERIOD

AND HAVE PMS AND GO CRAZY.

SHE'LL RUIN THE COUNTRY."

WE HAVE MEN WHO ACTUALLYBELIEVE THAT A WOMAN

BECAUSE OF HER BIOLOGYHAS HER JUDGMENT IMPAIRED

ONCE A MONTH.

WELL, I'M A MAN WITHA PENIS AND TESTICLES.

MY JUDGMENT IS IMPAIREDEVERY FIVE TO SEVEN MINUTES.

(laughter and applause)

AND I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU.

I WAKE UP SOME MORNINGSWITH MY JUDGMENT IMPAIRED.

(laughter)

THAT JOKE, OF COURSE,ANSWERS THE QUESTION,

HARI KONDABOLU, CAN YOU WRITEA FEMINIST (bleep) JOKE?

YEAH.

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