Rachel Feinstein - Special Girl

  • Season 1, Ep 6
  • 08/08/2010
  • Views: 16,839

Rachel Feinstein is having trouble meeting a guy because there are too many princes to choose from. (2:23)

THANK YOU.IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE.

I'VE HAD A WEIRD WEEK.

I'VE BEEN DRINKINGA TREMENDOUS AMOUNT.

DOES ANYBODYLIKE TO DRINK HERE?

ANYBODY INTERESTED IN THAT?

I, UH...

I BEEN GOING OUTWITH MY FRIENDS DRINKING

TO MEET GUYS AND STUFF.

I'M HAVING A HARD TIMEMEETING SOMEBODY.

I THINK IT'S 'CAUSE THEREARE SO MANY PRINCES OUT THERE,

I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONETO CHOOSE FROM.

I WENT OUT WITH THIS GUYRECENTLY,

AND HE STARTSNARRATING OUR DATE

WHILE WE WERE ON IT.

IT WAS AWFUL.

WE'RE OUT TO DINNER,AND HE STARTS GOING,

"TONIGHT, I META VERY SPECIAL GIRL."

I'M LIKE, "WHAT THE HELLIS GOING ON?"

AND HE KEPT GOING WITH IT,LIKE HE'S LIKE,

"THIS SPECIAL LADY.

"SHE, UH, SHE REALLYMADE ME LAUGH.

THIS SPECIAL LADY.SHE MADE ME THINK."

LIKE IT WAS A REALTOUGH PUZZLE.

LIKE I WAS GONNA BE LIKE,

"OH...OH, I'M SICKOF GUESSIN'.

"WHO IS SHE?

"OH, I WANNA KNOWWHO THE GIRL IN THE RIDDLE IS.

"IT'S NOT FAIR.

"I WANNA KNOW THE ANSWERRIGHT NOW.

EVEN MY TITSARE CONFUSED."

AND HE GOES, "HEY, THAT SPECIALGIRL I WAS TALKING ABOUT...

THAT SPECIAL GIRLIS YOU."

AND HE ACTUALLY BELIEVED

HE WAS GONNAINSERT HIMSELF INSIDE ME

AT SOME POINT AFTER THAT.

AND HE DID, BUT, UH...

[laughterand scattered applause]

- THANK YOU.

THAT'S 'CAUSE I HADSEVEN MALIBU PINEAPPLES.

I TRY TO GO OUT MEETING PEOPLEWITH MY BEST FRIEND TOO,

BUT IT'S REALLY HARD,

'CAUSE SHE ALWAYS GETSALL THE ATTENTION.

SHE HAS A--A VERY LARGE ASS.

THE KIND OF ASS THAT, UH,

MEN REALLYNEED TIME WITH.

THEY HAVE QUESTIONS.

IT'S THE KIND OF ASS MEN,LIKE, THEY STOP.

THEY NEED HELP PROCESSING IT.

WE WERE WALKINGTHIS ONE TIME,

AND SHE PASSES THIS GUYWHO JUST GOES,

"DAMN, GIRL!YOU GOT THAT MAD BUTT!"

HE DID A LITTLE SHAKE TOO.

- YEAH!

- I WAS LIKE, SHE SHOULDPUT THAT IN HER WEDDING VOWS,

THAT'S SO ROMANTIC.

IT REALLY IS,IT'S A TOUCHING STATEMENT.

"YOU'VE GOT THAT MAD BUTT."SHE SHOULD.

IT SHOULD BE LIKE,

"DO YOU TAKE THIS GIRLWITH THAT MAD BUTT

TO BE ALL UP IN YOUR BUSINESS?WHAT'S UP?"

[laughterand scattered groans]

MY MOM'S ALWAYS LIKE,SHE HATES THAT JOKE.

SHE'S ALWAYS LIKE,"CAN YOU PLEASE

TAKE THATOUT OF YOUR TALENT SHOW?"

THAT'S WHAT SHE CALLSMY STAND-UP--MY TALENT SHOW.

- TAKE IT OUTOF YOUR TALENT SHOW. OUT.

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