Adam Newman - Holoblogger

  • Season 3 , Ep 2
  • 07/27/2012
  • Views: 16,712

Adam Newman thinks that some people shouldn't be included on celeb lists. (3:01)

I WAS JUST ON ONE OFTHOSE WEBSITES

WHERE YOU UPLOAD YOURPICTURE TO THE WEBSITE

AND IT USESFACE-MATCHING TECHNOLOGY

TO FIND YOUR CLOSESTCELEBRITY MATCH.

MY FRIEND, WHO'S A GUY,GOT ANGELINA JOLIE.

I LIKE THIS TECHNOLOGY.HE'S A GUY, HE GOT A GIRL,

I'M GONNA GETA FUNNY CELEBRITY TOO.

MY CELEBRITY LOOK-ALIKEWAS ANNE FRANK.

YOU SEE IT?GOOD. YEAH.

IT WAS CLOSER THAN HIS,I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

AND MY MOM SAID, "AT LEASTYOU GOT SOMEBODY JEWISH."

BUT HERE'S MY THING.

ANYBODY ELSE THINK ANNE FRANKMAYBE SHOULDN'T BE ON THE LIST

OF CELEBS YOU CAN GETON THE SITE?

LIKE, IT SHOULD BE A LIGHTFUN GAME THAT YOU PLAY

WHILE YOU'RE SCREWING AROUNDON THE INTERNET AT WORK,

NOT SOMETHING THAT IMMEDIATELYREFERENCES THE HOLOCAUST.

THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

ANNE FRANK IS A HARD PERSON TOEXPLAIN TO A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

TO EXPLAIN ANNE FRANK'SIMPORTANCE

TO A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL NOW,

YOU HAVE TO USE14-YEAR-OLD GIRL LANGUAGE.

LIKE, YOU WOULD SAY,"PEOPLE USED TO WRITE IN DIARIES

BEFORE THERE WAS BLOGGING.

SO ANNE FRANK WAS ESSENTIALLYTHE HOLOCAUST BLOGGER, RIGHT?"

(chuckles)

THEY UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSEYOU'RE USING THEIR LANGUAGE.

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU USE CATCHYWORD PLAY, LIKE HOLO-BLOGGER.

THEY UNDERSTAND THAT.

IT'S--IT'S AN EASY THINGFOR THEM TO GRA--

THEY JUST WANT A CATCHY WORDFOR LIKE A T-SHIRT

OR THE BACK OF THEIR SHORTS.

THAT'S WHAT THEY CARE ABOUT.

IT'S A LARGE 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL

THAT CAN FIT THE WHOLE WORDHOLO-BLOGGER

ON THE BACK OF HER SHORTS.

BUT, YOU KNOW,YOU'RE GETTING THERE.

I JUST DOG-SAT FOR A FRIEND.

HE'S GOT A LITTLE SCHNAUZERNAMED RORY,

WHO I TOOK THE LIBERTYOF RENAMING DOOGIE SCHNAUZER...

FOR OUR WEEKEND TOGETHER.

BECAUSE THAT'S A WAY BETTER NAMEFOR A SCHNAUZER.

I THINK IF YOU HAVE A DOG,

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS NAMEYOUR DOG

BASED ON THE BREED THAT IT IS.

LIKE, IF YOU HAVEA BASSET HOUND,

NAME IT ANGELA BASSET HOUND...RIGHT?

WHY WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT?

IF YOU HAD A SHIH TZU,NAME IT SHIH-TZOOEY DESCHANEL.

OR GOLDEN RETRI-EVA LONGORIA.

CHIHUA-WALTER CRONKITE.

SALVADOR COLLIE.

ALL RIGHT.(cheers and applause)

THERE'S SO MANY MORE.

I--ALL RIGHT.

LABRADOR DOLLY.

YEAH.

MULSAVA BORDER DOLLY CAULKIN.WRITE THAT ONE DOWN.

YOU CAN BUILD.

IF YOU HAVE A BOY PUG,NAME IT MICHAEL PUG-LAS.

IF YOU HAVE A GIRL PUG,PUG-LY BETTY.

IF YOU HAVE FOUR PUGS,BONE PUGS AND HARMONY.

THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.ALL RIGHT.

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