- I'm a wrestling fan.Any other wrestling fans?
Like, not a lot, so...
the rest of you,fuck you and your fake sport.
I love wrestling.
We lost some key guyslast year in 2015.
We lost some crucial guys,some Hall of Famers,
We lost Rowdy Roddy Piper.
We lostthe Ultimate Warrior.
We lost Hulk Hogan...
And I don't know if you knowthe whole story
of why Hulk Hoganwas in the news last year,
but it turns outhe made a sex tape.
Oh, my God.
I want to fucking get in lineto never, ever see
the Hulk Hogan sex tape.
And duringthe Hulk Hogan sex tape
where the controversy arose,
is apparently he saysthe N-word a bunch
while he's having sexwith the lady.
He says the N-word.
Which, who hasn't hadsex, right?
It's super racist.
No, it's fucking not.
You're not doing it right,Hulkster.
And what I loveabout that story
is it was recordedfour years ago,
and we're just hearingabout it now,
proving my pointthat no one wanted to watch
the fucking Hulk Hogansex tape.
It was sittingon some wrestling nerd's
pile of shit to watchfor, like, four years.
"I made it throughall those 'Doctor Who's.
"That tooklonger than I thought.
"I guess I'll watchHulk Hogan fuck a lady.
Oh, my God!He's racist!"
And if you're surprisedHulk Hogan's racist,
you've never lookedat Hulk Hogan.
That dude looks racistfrom a long ways away.
'Cause that fucking mustacheis made of racism.
I bet if you watchthe sex tape--and don't,
but if you did,you'd find out it's not even
Hulkster being racist.
It's hisracist-talking mustache.
He was, like, having sexwith the lady
and his 'stache is like,"N-word. N-word. N-word."
He's like, "Brother,trying to have sex here."
"Should have shaved offmy talking, racist mustache
when I realized it hatedMexicans last year."
"Don't get me started."