Roast Battle II - Leah Kayajanian vs. Joe Dosch

Roast Battle II: Night One - Uncensored Season 2, Ep 5 01/26/2017 Views: 3,473

Leah Kayajanian can't believe how Joe Dosch's mother dealt with cancer, and he fires back with a burn explaining why America won't recognize her. (4:06)

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[bell dinging]

- [clears throat]

Leah's parents areforeign immigrants

and she's a four in LA.

audience: Oh!

[laughter and applause]

- Memories.

- Classics!

- Ooh.

You know, when I first met Joe,

I was in a very dark place...

because his head waseclipsing the sun.

[scattered laughter]

- Leah's tits are so small

she stuffs her brawith her chest hair.

[laughter and applause]

[siren blaring]

Oh, my.

Oh.

Ah.

Mm.

[scattered laughter]

- Joe's mother survived cancer,

and then raised it for 18 years.

audience: Oh! [siren blaring]

- Okay.

Yes, yes, my motherjust had breast cancer surgery.

By the way, Leah,it was very sweet of you

to lend her some of your bras.

[laughter and applause]

What do Leah and the Armeniangenocide have in common?

They're both too uglyfor American to recognize.

[whistling, glass shattering]

[bomb explodes]

- Joe, you bratty baby Prince.

You look like you spenda lot of time

designing costumesfor dead mice.

[snoring] - [clears throat]

- Last joke.

- Leah's brother is autisticso that's one more man that

won't make eye contact with her.

audience: Oh!

[chainsaw buzzing]

- [laughing]No he didn't

- Joe, you know,it makes sense you're a bottom

'cause you look likeyou have Downs.

[scattered laughter] [bell dinging]

- Whoo!- Hurray.

- Joe, Leah.Make noise.

[cheers and applause]- Ooh, thank you.

Thank you.

- Man.

This show isreally [bleep] mean, Jeff.

- Whew.

The crazy cat ladyversus the guy

who's never touched a pussy.

[laughter]

You guys are good friends,you've never been on TV before.

I'm really happy the both of youbattled each other.

That was a really--

Leah, you're reallycoming at Joe Dosch,

but, you know,Joe, you get better

every time you do this.

You took your game up a notch.You look fantastic, buddy.

"Stuffs her brawith her own chest hair."

[laughter]

Joe Dosch, uh, this isa joke writers showcase,

the art of the insult,

and the two of youare great at it,

but, Joe Dosch, you're gettingbetter and better and better

at the economic useof the language.

The way you writethose short jokes

and then your performancewas off the charts tonight,

so you got my vote.

- Thank you.- Okay.

[cheers and applause]

One for Joe.

Jeselnik?

- Uh, I gotta say,um, I think you both did great

for your only timeon television.

Uh...

Leah, I think you screwed upby going after,

like, a big head joke.It didn't really land,

and, Joe, you justkind of crushed her after that.

Joe, this was totally yours.

From front to back,you destroyed her.

Leah, uh, you should beashamed of yourself.

[laughter]

- Jesus.

- Snoop, any advicefor these people?

- Uh, Leah, the schoolthat you teach at,

I-I wanna give a shout-outto all of the students there...

[laughter]

Um, and for the winner,

I think the winner'sgonna have...

♪ A gay old time

[laughter, cheers, and applause]

- Joe Dosch,you win that one, buddy!

- Ladies and gentlemen...

[cheers and applause]

Aww.Joe Dosch wins!

Joe Dosch!- Hey!