Etsy Pitchmen - Cat Cards & Miley Candles

  • Season 1 , Ep 1002
  • 01/07/2014
  • Views: 2,083

What's the best way to market an Etsy greeting card featuring a woman who is about to give birth to a cat? (2:41)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY ETSYPITCHMEN , THE FIRST OF THE NEW

SEASON.

NOW, IN THE REAL WORLD RETAILSTOORS GO OUT OF BUSINESS WHEN

THEY CAN'T PAY RENT.

BUT ON ETSY YOU CAN SELLANYTHING YOU WANT, KEEP YOUR

DOORS OPEN AS LONG AS THEY DON'TTAKE YOUR COMPUTER AWAY.

THEN THEN IT WILL BE AN ETSYSERVER SO YOU'RE FINE.

I WILL SHOW YOU STRANGE ITEMSFROM ESSY AND YOU HAVE TO GIVE

ME A KILLER TAG LINE TO HELPSELL IT.

HERE IS ONE.

MILEY CYRUS RELIGIOUS CANNEDSNELL.

>> THIS IS A RED CANDLE BUT ITACTS GLAK GREAT ONE.

>> ORB YOU JUST FIND IT ON TOPOF A BLACK CANDLE.

>> IT'S HARD TO TELL BECAUSETHE LINES ARE BLURRED.

THANK YOU.

>> MOSHE KASHER, I GAVE YOUPOINTS BECAUSE YOU'RE ♪ A GOOD

GIRL ♪♪ .

>> NEXT ONE?

>> THE PERFECT GREETING CARD FORTHE CREEPIEST CAT LADY IN YOUR

LIFE.

THE ONLY THING CREEPIER IS THISCARD.

THAT'S HOW JUST A CAT WOULD BEIN YOU AND THEN EXIT YOUR BODY,

FUR AND ALL.

>> I THINK THIS IMAGE IS EVENMORE DISGUSTING IF YOU IMAGINE

SHE PUT IT THERE IN THE FIRSTPLACE.

MEOW-CH!

ME-OUCH!

>> THIS IS FROM HOARDERS,EXTREME EDITION.

>> WAIT A MINUTE.

GO BACK TO THAT IMAGE RIGHT THISSECOND.

SO WE CAN SHOW THIS BUT YOU HAVETO PICKS ILL LATE THE TITS OUT?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WELL, WE DON'T WANT ANYONE TO BEOFFENDED BY A NIPPLE.

THERE IS A CROSS-SECTION OF ALADY WITH A CATS COMING OUT OF

HER VAGINA BUT IF THERE'S ONEMILLIMETER OF NIPPLE, IT'S GOING

TO GET CRAZY!

[ APPLAUSE ]>> THIS IS WHAT IS FUN.

SEE, THAT BIG PUSSY COMES OUT OFTHAT BIG [BLEEP]

AND IF MY STANDARDS AND PRACTICEAND CIRCULATIONS ARE CORRECT

ONLY ONE OF THOSE GOT BLEEPED.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> CHRIS, WHAT?

>> POINTS!

THANK YOU.

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