John Oliver - Caught and Compromised

  • Season 3 , Ep 6
  • 08/24/2012
  • Views: 31,158

John Oliver remembers where he was when he heard that Osama bin Laden had been killed. (2:32)

I remember where I was.

I was sitting at home on mycouch watching the TV.

Some of you may have asimilar story.

But I now know where I wish Iwas instead,

'cause it wasn't at home.and it wasn't in Pakistan.

I wish that I was in Tampa,Florida

at a WWE Wrestling event.

How do I know this?

'Cause I've been on Youtubeand I saw the news of

Bin Laden's death announcedto a sold-out Tampa crowd of

wrestling fans by theprofessional wrestler

John Cena and it was[bleep] incredible.

John Cena climbed into thering and he said,

"I've never been moreproud than I am right now

"to be an American.

"I walk into this ring everyday with hustle,

"loyalty and respecton my sleeve."

It's worth noting though, atthis point, he was sleeveless.

[LAUGHTER]

He went on to say, "I amproud to announce to you that

"we have caught and compromisedto a permanent end,

"Osama Bin Laden."

And Tampa went bat[bleep] crazy.

And I watched this clip withmy heart pounding,

slowly realizing that Iprefer that to what the

president said because thereis more poetry in that:

"caught and compromisedto a permanent end."

Where did that come from,professional wrestler?

And where can I get a littlemore?

That's what I wanted to hearfrom the president,

and if I'm honest, I alsowould have liked him to have

been shirtless, if I'mhonest.

If I'm honest 'cause ifthere's ever a time for

an American president toaddress his nation shirtless,

that was that time and hewas that president...

looking straight downthe camera, saying,

"we have caught andcompromised to a permanent

end, Osama Bin Laden," beforefireworks shot out the side

of the podium and Def Leppardwere lowered from the ceiling

playing "Pour Some Sugar OnMe" as the president

moonwalked out of theOval Office, flexing.

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