Daniel Tosh - Cannibalism

  • Season 7 , Ep 23
  • 07/24/2003
  • Views: 98,157

Can cannibals taste ethnicity? (2:12)

IS A HORRIBLE SCENARIO.

I'M NOT GONNA ARGUE WITH 'YA.

BUT IF YOU HADDA EAT ANOTHER

HUMAN BEING TO SURVIVE,

DO YOU THINK THEY TASTE LIKE

THEIR ETHNIC BACKGROUND?

[LAUGHTER]

DO YOU THINK MEXICANS ARE SPICY?

[LAUGHTER]

DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE CHIPS AND

SALSA BEFORE YOU BITE INTO ONE?

YOU CAN START LAUGHING NOW.

I'M GONNA DO EVERYBODY IN HERE.

[LAUGHTER]

CHINESE PEOPLE, ARE YOU HUNGRY

30 MINUTES LATER FOR MORE?

[LAUGHTER]

LET'S GO, EVERYBODY.

BLACK PEOPLE--

TASTE LIKE CHICKEN.

[LAUGHTER]

ALL'S FAIR, ALL'S FAIR.

WHITE PEOPLE?

ALL RIGHT, YOU DON'T EAT

WHITE PEOPLE.

I'M SORRY, I DON'T MAKE

THE RULES.

[LAUGHTER]

DO YOU AT LEAST UNDERSTAND

WHY I END THE JOKE THAT WAY?

BECAUSE IT'S SO FUNNY TO MAKE

A ROOM FULL OF WHITE PEOPLE

UNCOMFORTABLE.

[LAUGHTER]

"OH, SEE, WE LAUGHED AT

BLACK PEOPLE TASTE LIKE CHICKEN,

'CAUSE WE KINDA THOUGHT YOU WERE

GONNA THROW ONE IN OUR

DIRECTION.

AND NOW YOU PRETTY MUCH

HUNG US OUT TO DRY."

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S JUST A JOKE.

WHAT IF THAT JOKE IS THE REASON

I DON'T GET INTO HEAVEN?

LIKE I GET UP TO HEAVEN,

FIND OUT GOD'S BLACK.

YEAH.

HE COMES WALKING UP TO ME.

"AH, THAT JOKE WASN'T FUNNY,

MOTHER(BLEEP).

LEMME TELL YOU SUMPIN', THAT

BLACK PEOPLE TASTE LIKE CHICKEN.

WHITE PEOPLE TASTE LIKE MACARONI

AND CHEESE, BITCH."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

ALL RIGHT.

CALM DOWN, CRACKERS, THIS AIN'T

A RALLY.

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T WANT ANYONE GETTIN'

THE WRONG IDEA.

I KNOW-- THAT-- I DOUBT GOD'S

USIN' THAT KINDA LANGUAGE.

AND THAT'S A VERY STEREOTYPICAL

VOICE I USED FOR AN

AFRICAN-AMERICAN.

I APOLOGIZE.

HOW MANY BLACK COMICS HAVE YOU

HEARD IN YOUR LIFETIME GO,

"YOU KNOW WHITE PEOPLE.

HI, BOB, HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD, TOM, THANKS FOR ASKIN'."

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT AT ALL.

THAT'S VERY OFFENSIVE.

I DO THAT JOKE ONE NIGHT,

AND OF COURSE A WHITE LADY CAME

RUNNING UP TO ME AFTER THE SHOW.

SHE GOES, "WHAT GIVES YOU THE

RIGHT TO DO JOKES ABOUT BLACK

PEOPLE LIKE THAT?"

I'M LIKE, "LISTEN, LADY.

MY BEST FRIEND IS CUBAN,

AND THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH."

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH.

SHE WAS LIKE, "OH, I'M SORRY."

[LAUGHTER]

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