Jonah & Kumail - That's Not Neil deGrasse Tyson - Uncensored

The One Without Neil deGrasse Tyson Season 3, Ep 5 10/25/2016 Views: 1,200

Kumail and Steven Yeun try to convince Jonah that aliens are real, and Jonah pretends to consult Neil deGrasse Tyson -- at the worst possible moment. (2:09)

Watch Full Episode

You guys think aliens exist?

Oh, you all watch "The X-Files,"too?

- Everyone believes aliensexist, dude.

- Not everybody clapped, sonot everybody believes it.

- I'm not the only onewho believes in aliens.

I'm going to bring out someonewho also believes in aliens.

Please welcome to the stage,Steve Yeun.

[cheers and applause]

- You think aliens are like

these gangly creatureswith giant eyes, right?

- I'm not gonna judge whatthey look like.

- Because if we're just going onthe basic premise

of a thing that's not humanfrom Earth,

if this Earth--if this galaxy isas massive as it is,

there's got to be something.

- Oh, there's got to besomething,

but have they made it over here?

I don't think they wouldor care.

- In the early 2000s,

when I would pose thesequestions to my friends,

they'd call me crazy, right?

They'd go, "No way that they're

"listening in on ourconversation.

There's no way that they'rewiretapping our phone calls."

But once the Internetcomes around,

every dude is sayingthey're wiretapping

and they found out thatthey're wiretapping

and they'relistening to us,

so if they're capable of that,

they're hiding some MF-ingaliens somewhere.

Our government can do that.

- Yeah.- Of course.

- But why would they?

- Because if they say there'sfucking aliens,

then people like you, smallminds, are gonna freak out.

"Oh, no!

"My reality is broken.

I don'tknow what to do!"

- No, it would be like when anew flavor of cereal comes out,

and I'd be like, "Rad."

- Ask Neil Degrasse Tysonif he thinks there's aliens.

- Ask Neil Degrasse Tyson.

- Neil, can you come out here?

- Oh, shoot.- No, that's not Neil.

That's a different black person.

- That's--- Let me be clear--

- Sir, can you walk out herefor a second?

- I was gonna say that,no matter what!

- Can you walk out here fora second, please?

You looked at him and you werelike, "Neil Degrasse Tyson."

- I was not looking inthat direction!

- You were like,"Neil Degrasse Tyson."

Please.

How are you gonna believeyour own cosmic shit,

when you can't even tellblack people apart?

- No!- That's true.

- No!No, I wasn't!

Look, play the tape back,you'll see that I said,

"Neil Degrasse Tyson,"

and then you would've saw fearin my eyes when I looked.

- Ask Neil Degrasse Tyson.

- Neil, can you come out here?

- Oh, shoot.